Daily Bruin

Campus groups provide support systems for coming out

By Jùlio C. Rosa

and Ali Beck

She’s out. He’s not out to his family. She’s totally closeted.
He’s just starting to come out. To those unfamiliar with the
lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) communities, these phrases may be
meaningless. To others, they attempt to describe the complex coming
out process.

There is no one definition of what it means to be "out." To one
person, coming out may mean walking down the street holding their
partner’s hand. To another, coming out may be attending a rally to
demand recognition of the civil rights of the LGB population. To
someone else, it may mean telling their family that they are
gay.

There are many different ways to come out, but why do we do it?
Again, there are many answers. Growing up in a culture which
assumes that all people are heterosexual, many lesbians, gays and
bisexuals feel isolated and confused. Most of us knew no openly gay
people and this lack of role models reinforced the negative
messages we received about being gay. Many lesbian, gay and
bisexual people hope that by coming out they can serve as mentors
to youths in the community, providing support through what can be a
very difficult time.

This is demonstrated by a recent study which showed that 10
years ago, the average coming out age for gay men was 26. Today it
is 16. For women, it tends to be much later. We also come out for
practical reasons: it takes a lot of energy and time to try to
cover up a relationship or hide an affiliation with an LGB
organization. Basically, a large portion of the LGB population
comes out because they are just plain tired of hiding.

One of the main reasons for coming out is that we affirm to
ourselves and others that we recognize and celebrate all aspects of
our personalities, including our sexual orientation. Coming out
allows us to live our lives openly and honestly. It gives us the
freedom to share our experiences with others, in the classroom and
outside of it, and to work towards dispelling some of the
misconceptions and prejudices which are directed toward the LGB
communities.

Included in this section of The Bruin is the story regarding
ROTC discrimination at UCLA. This is certainly an issue which
affects many individuals’ desire and ability to safely be OUT as
students at this university. We are glad individuals such as Keith
Meinhold, Miriam Ben-Shalom, Joe Zuniga, Coronel Cammemeyer and
Tracy Thorne are strong enough to come out under fire in the
military environment. Their strength allows cadets at schools such
as UCLA to question how effective a nondiscrimination policy which
protects openly LGB individuals truly is. This form of
institutionalized homophobia is only destructive to the coming out
process.

Coming out can be an important and rewarding experience, but it
is also very difficult and sometimes frightening. Many resources on
campus provide support for those at all different stages of the
coming out process. GALA, UCLA’s multicultural lesbian, gay and
bisexual alliance, sponsors a number of groups where students can
come together to discuss issues and support each other. Residence
hall rap is a multiethnic, confidential group which addresses the
specific needs and concerns of LGB students living on campus,
focusing on outreach to students who may just be starting to come
out. QAAR, for African-American students; La Familia, for Latina/o
students; and Mahu, for Asian/Pacific Islander students address the
issues faced by lesbians, gays and bisexuals in various ethnic and
cultural communities. In addition, GALA sponsors Lesbian/Bisexual
Women’s Rap, Gay Men’s Rap, and Bisexual Gathering. New this year
will be the Community Rap, a multiethnic rap for men and women.
Information on these groups is available through GALA at
825-8053.

These services are provided so that our community is empowered
and supported in numbers. Remember that as GALA, we are here to aid
in the coming out process, but that it is your personal strength
and commitment to yourself that will allow you to be open about
your feelings, your emotions and your life. Please respect
yourself. Come out.

Rosa, a fifth-year sociology student specializing in women’s
studies, and Beck, a second-year film, theater and television
student, are the co-chairs of GALA.

UCLA must end alignment with ROTC discrimination

By David Mixner

The issue is clear. ROTC, under the military’s new "don’t ask,
don’t tell" guidelines, will not allow openly gay and lesbian
students to participate in its program. If a student is discovered
to be homosexual, he or she could be investigated, dismissed from
the program and forced to pay back any scholarship money
received.

It is unrealistic to expect the Pentagon to change its policy
any time in the near future. But changing UCLA’s relationship with
ROTC is another story.

UCLA actively maintains an alliance of discrimination with the
military. Lesbian and gay students are refused access to
scholarship funds and courses while being denied a chance to
voluntarily serve their country. The university extends academic
recognition to ROTC, gives course credit and uses university ­
and taxpayer ­ dollars to assist in financing and housing the
program. It continues this support of ROTC even though the
program’s directives are contrary to the university’s own
non-discrimination policy, as well as city and state civil rights
laws.

It is unconscionable for a university, acknowledged to be a
place of tolerance and understanding, to discriminate against any
of its students. There can only be one reason for UCLA to allow
this policy to continue ­ the fear that it will lose
Department of Defense funding for its other programs. Yet to
finance university programs at the expense of freedom of a select
group of students is simply unacceptable. At what price will the
university sell the rights of its other minority students?

Freedom Project-Los Angeles is not asking UCLA to be the first
institution of higher learning to change the nature of its
relationship with ROTC. Many universities and colleges in
California and across the country are no longer giving course
credit for ROTC nor do they allow its use of campus facilities.
Some have severed their ties with ROTC completely. These
universities have chosen a road of moral strength, setting an
example for their students by teaching them that intolerance of any
kind has no place in our society. We simply ask UCLA to join the
crowd and take a stand.

Maintaining the status quo can only lead to more division and
misunderstanding. We ask the university, Chancellor Young and the
Board of Regents to hear our plea for an end to these exclusionary
policies and eliminate discrimination from the campus without
further delay. The university must sever its ties with ROTC until
such time that ROTC opens its doors and offers its scholarship
money to all students.

This issue will not go away. Either we will work together to
bring about this necessary change or we will mobilize on our own to
force change. The choice belongs to the university and its
chancellor.

Mixner is the founder of Freedom Project-Los Angeles, an
organization that works to end ROTC discrimination at UCLA.

Coming out: a gay Army sergeant’s announcement

Leland Kim

I sat nervously on a cold, hardwood chair across a desk from a
weather-beaten sergeant first class whose leathery face served as a
reminder of his many years in the military. My Army recruiter had
picked me up early that morning in 1990 to begin an entire day’s
worth of examinations and paperwork to complete my enlistment into
the U.S. Army.

As my contract lay conspicuously in front of my eyes, I realized
that I would be making the biggest decision of my 17-year-old life.
Images of my parents and friends warning me that I’m making a
mistake flashed in my mind. I listened unattentively to the
sergeant as he explained the different sections of my contractual
obligations.

Fighting to keep my pen from shaking, I signed the dotted line.
After raising my right hand and swearing to defend the United
States against all enemies foreign and domestic, I felt a great
sense of pride, patriotism ­ and fear.

I am a gay man in the military.

As a high school senior planning a career in the medical field,
the thought of being a cardiac specialist in the U.S. Army truly
appealed to me. My basic training was in Oklahoma and I was
extremely nervous at the prospects of living nine weeks with a
group of strangers thousands of miles away from home. I was also
paranoid that somehow they would find out that I’m gay.

During the course of those nine weeks, I adapted quickly to the
discipline and structured format of the military despite the
homophobic atmosphere. I also began to excel at being a soldier. In
a platoon of 40 recruits, I was chosen as the drill sergeant’s
assistant, in charge of leading my peers through different phases
of basic training and answering directly to the platoon
sergeant.

I endured the homophobic comments and even laughed with the boys
at the jokes that painted stereotypic pictures of gays because I
was afraid of the repercussions if they were to find out about me.
I had to tolerate comments such as "I’ll shoot those fuckin’
faggots if they try to join my Army" and "They’ll just try to
butt-fuck you if they get you in a foxhole." The recruits said
these savage comments, oblivious to the fact that their designated
leader was gay.

In advanced individual training at Texas I was a squad leader,
responsible for soldiers who had more time in service than I did.
During morning runs, our platoon sergeant told us that we could
improve our endurance by "running like a faggot." He demonstrated
this by bending his arms at the elbows, keeping his wrists limp,
and running with his legs wide apart and his butt in the air. These
unfavorable pictures and images contributed to my self-hatred and
homophobia as I became more and more closeted.

With two years and nine months in the service and at the age of
20, I was promoted to the rank of sergeant in the U.S. Army
Reserves, holding the distinction as the youngest sergeant ever in
my unit. This is my proudest moment to date because I proved to
myself that I am able to not only survive in a macho, homophobic
environment, but that I can also excel in it.

I am a gay man and I have done well in the military. Many
detractors have said and will continue to say that gays do not
belong in the military despite the fact that I and thousands of my
gay and lesbian brothers and sisters have served with
distinction.

Growing up with the image of gay men as either drag queens or
Harvey Fierstein greatly disturbed me because I could not relate to
them nor did I want to relate to them. Coming into UCLA as a
freshman, I was determined to stay closeted and eventually go on
active duty. I looked forward to moving from military post to
military post because that would prevent me from establishing long
lasting friendships or relationships.

However, I realized that I was not happy putting on this facade.
During my third year I started meeting people through work and
classes who turned out to be gay. Knowing gays and lesbians who
were "normal" was something I did not expect to happen. I realized
that I was not alone and that there were others out there like me.
Through their example, I slowly began coming out to people, even to
my born-again Christian sister. She has been amazingly supportive
under the circumstances and I love her for it.

It is the strength of my gay and lesbian friends that has given
me the inspiration to make this very public announcement. Quite
frankly, I am scared at what possible repercussions this article
will have on my life. I don’t know what the Army will do and I
don’t know how my other friends and acquaintances will react. I’m
beginning a new chapter in my life, one that is filled with vast
uncertainties.

I risk getting discharged from the Army. It is a huge chance I
am taking. But after weighing the options, I am confident that I am
making the right decision. If I change one individual’s homophobic
views by coming out or if I inspire one closeted person to come
out, than that alone is worth the repercussions I may face.

Kim is a junior double majoring in political science and
philosophy.

National Coming Out Week celebrates sexual diversity through
campus voices

This week (Oct. 8-14) is National Coming Out Week, at UCLA and
throughout the country, and there are a lot of lessons to be
learned.

In the past at UCLA, the Daily Bruin’s coverage of lesbian, gay
and bisexual (LGB) communities on campus has been dismally
inadequate, if not virtually invisible. Because a newspaper’s role
is to reflect within its pages the communities it serves, it’s time
for a change. It’s time for us to learn a lesson about reporting on
communities.

Coming Out Week commemorates more than just coming out of the
closet, although that’s part of it. On a grander scale, Coming Out
Week means coming out with the issues that don’t always get
adequate coverage in the mainstream media. For members of the
lesbian, gay and bisexual communities, it means coming out in
numbers to educate and increase awareness and coming out to be
counted to provide positive role models for people who need
them.

To recognize Coming Out Week and reassert The Bruin’s pledge to
improve our coverage of the lesbian, gay and bisexual communities,
the Viewpoint section will devote much of its space this week to
publishing coming out stories and other issues that pertain to the
lesbian, gay and bisexual communities within and beyond UCLA’s
borders ­ the military’s "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy,
domestic partnership and nonspousal benefits issues, on campus
organizations, etc..

In many ways, however, the fact that Coming Out Week lasts for
just a week is problematic. We must use this week as a starting
point for the future, to insist that awareness doesn’t end with the
conclusion of the week’s activities, within the pages of The Bruin,
on campus or anywhere.

Coming Out Week is scheduled to last for only a week, but it’s a
beginning, and a strong one at that.

In today’s issue of The Bruin, you’ll read a guest column from a
UCLA student and sergeant in the Army Reserves who came out as a
gay man in the military for the first time today. When he submitted
his column to Viewpoint last week, he knew that by coming out
publicly, with the military’s current stance on gays in the
military, he risked getting discharged from the Army.

His decision to come out shouldn’t have involved a risk at
all.

Everyone deserves the right to come out in a non-threatening,
safe environment. The Daily Bruin supports that right, and we
should all support that right. That includes the military, and that
includes UCLA’s university-funded ROTC program, which under current
policy prevents gays from being open about their sexuality.

And despite the inroads that have been made to provide
legislation to protect that right, we have a long way left to go.
There’s still a lot at stake.

But that’s exactly why National Coming Out Week and events like
it are so important ­ they increase awareness and they effect
change.

Keep your eyes open this week. There’s a lot going on. Go to the
National Coming Out Day Out & Proud Rally on Tuesday at noon.
Go to the Domestic Partnership Rally at noon Wednesday, or the ROTC
Discrimination Rally at noon Thursday. Maybe you’ll learn a lesson
or two.