Some people like Christmas, others prefer New Year’s, but for me, today is the best day of the year.
For the next 19 days, there will be nothing but basketball for me, with breaks in my day only for sleep, ordering pizzas and personal hygiene. (Actually, nix that last one. Too much time away from the TV.)
The thing is, March Madness must be enjoyed in a certain way. Either you’ve gotta go all the way with it or don’t even bother. That being said, here are some suggestions on how to maximize your tourney experience.
Even if you don’t like to gamble, fill out a bracket. That way you will have some sort of personal stake in every matchup. You could even get a pool going with Monopoly money if you’re really into it and buy Boardwalk if you win.
If you do like to gamble, there’s really no reason why you shouldn’t (unless you’re an addict, then see the above suggestion). Watching some other no-name team in a close game that could potentially turn your $5 into $150 is intense and enjoyable. The only exception is when all of your Final Four teams are out by the second weekend. That’s why you make more than one bracket.
When watching games, try not to get too attached. It’s easy to fall hard for the Cinderella teams when they knock off the big dogs, but keep everything in perspective. Obviously this is excluding your home team ““ laugh and cry all you want for them. For everyone else, like the Wright States and the Central Connecticut States, if and when they win (and oh they will), just keep your distance. You can want them to go all the way, but don’t break into that box of Kleenex when they trip up.
If you have the money, it’s not too late to buy an HDTV big screen TV for tourney-watching. It’s also not too late to invite me over.
The first round of the NCAA Tournament starts this weekend. Finals are next week. Make your decision wisely. (Finals could influence the rest of your life. You might win $150 watching basketball. … You can always use the two-hour break between games for studying.)
If you’re reading this in Powell Library, just imagine how sweet it would be if they followed my suggestion and set up a projector TV across from those comfy chairs. All the games, all the time. (Besides, the only studying you should be doing is Bracketology 101. I’m hoping it’s a GE. Maybe performing arts?)
When following the progress of your bracket, just remember this: With 64 teams remaining, that means there are literally dozens of possible outcomes. Don’t expect to get them all. Just focus on the ones that’ll give you some bragging rights. Calling Florida to make it to the Sweet 16 is about the same as saying Bruin Sports columnist Dave Woods will not remember St. Patrick’s Day. On the other hand, if you called Virginia Commonwealth University to reach the Sweet 16 and they actually do it (they’d have to beat Duke and Pitt), you could probably reward yourself with a few well-deserved pats on the back. Then rub it in your friends’ faces.
Because in the end, it’s not about the money. It’s not even about the brackets. It’s about being absorbed in the madness and failing to shower for 19 days because you’re too busy watching TiVo’d games for the third time. Just make sure to bring plenty of deodorant.
E-mail Feder at jfeder@media.ucla.edu if you haven’t showered in four months as part of your preparation.