Author Archives: Adam Kaney

To start off, I’d like to reassure you all by saying yes, France is still dealing with the aftermath of the riots, but don’t worry. We’re sending President Bush over there to sort everything out. In my final column for the Daily Bruin, there’s a lot I want to share with you, my loyal readers, […]

Prepare yourselves for incredibly bad news. The federal government has decided, apparently in retaliation for my recent column suggesting that college students shouldn’t have to pay taxes, that it is each university’s responsibility to upgrade its network systems so the federal government can spy on our Internet access and underbid on our eBay auctions. This […]

For college students, the American tax system is fairly easy to understand, as long as you view it from the official platforms of the major political parties. The Republicans believe big business and oil companies shouldn’t have to pay any taxes because in the long run, they don’t really make any profits in terms of […]

I’ve anticipated having to answer three compelling questions, so here are my answers: 1. Yes, it is Friday and my column is running. 2. No, you did not oversleep. 3. No, it’s not a good idea to read this while walking. I tried this yesterday and accidentally wound up in a strange room where people […]

We can learn lessons from observing the lives of people who were at the top of the world, yet fell from their pedestals into disgrace. Why do people sacrifice all the great things they’ve got going for them just to get a little bit more? Is it pride, greed, or an insatiable desire for power? […]

You know, the human powers of instant recollection are nothing short of amazing. I was sitting at home trying to decide whether to have salad or cookies for lunch when I remembered, all of a sudden, where I left my retainer in sixth grade. I also remembered that I had a column due in about […]

Welcome back, fellow Bruins. Now that you’re all here, I eagerly anticipate waiting in longer lines at Panda Express, getting harassed every day on Bruin Walk, and not being able to find a parking space. Seriously, I’m happy that the campus is going to be full again. Today’s topic is “cell phones,” but before we […]