America may be slouching ever-closer to another war.
But if there has been one lesson learned this past week, it is
that pop culture has become the new Communism. Get in line.
One need not look further than network television and the
nearest literary bestseller list to see that a new regime has taken
over. But instead of bread and gruel, America finds itself lining
up in anticipation for things like the latest adventure of Harry
Potter and his wizard gang.
The numbers tell a frightening story: a day after jumping onto
the market, Amazon.com reported that “Harry Potter and the
Order of the Phoenix” commanded a complete and total takeover
of their No. 1 purchase spot, even though the fifth book in the
series will not be available for another six months. At press time,
it is still holding that position, and it looks like it will
probably continue to do so for a very long time to come.
At 765 pages and roughly 255,000 words, it puts other tomes,
like the New Testament, to shame (which files in at a measly
188,000). Billy Graham would weep to find America’s next-next
generation spending more time reading about unholy witchcraft
instead of extracting God’s Good Word. He has gone the way of
the rest of yesterday’s heroes; strange half-gods like Ronald
Reagan and Muhammad Ali, and all the others who felt America was
more about kicking butt than getting in line.
But maybe they’re the truly lucky ones; the ones who were
tucked in and kissed good night before the new communist party
really got started.
I have to admit; I have yet to pick up and read any of the Harry
Potter books. But taking the above figures in consideration, it is
plain to see that we are dealing more with a world-wide takeover
than a mere pop-culture phenomenon. My girlfriend and even my own
mother swear by the books and their greatness with a glow which I
cannot help but find eerie.
“Give it a try,” my girlfriend is always telling me.
And when I refuse, saying, “Dear Jehovah, they’ve
gotten to you too!” my mother usually throws dishes at my
head and howls, “You are such a literary snob! How can you
love the junk Hunter Thompson writes and not even give Rowling a
try?”
How indeed.
Once in awhile I find copies of “Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer’s Stone” suggestively placed on my nightstand,
or even in the passenger seat in my own car, like one of those pods
from “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” I am not a
careless person. I can understand how they might get in my room,
but the ones in the car still puzzle me.
It’s not exactly the kind of thing to bring up at the
dinner table.
However, not everyone in America is that keen on reading. We
need to see what America’s 18-24 crowd is up to. The answer,
of course, is “American Idol 2.”
According to the show’s own figures, almost 50,000
talentless wannabes stood outside American Idol registration
stations for days in November last year. I expected this from towns
like L.A. and New York, but Miami, Detroit, Nashville, Austin and
even Atlanta appear very eager to hop on the bandwagon.
And these numbers don’t even begin to count the millions
who spent Tuesday and Wednesday nights watching the weak fall
stupidly at the hands of Simon, Randy and Paula. I know I was one
of them. And I can sympathize with anyone else. It is, in its way,
a truly sick but completely overriding addiction.
The lines, on the street and online, are only going to continue
to grow. And there’s not much anyone can do about it.
I remember some voice from the past saying, “Lead, follow,
or get out of the way.” But the amendment to that for the
21st century is clear. The phrase is simpler now and much more to
the point: “Follow, follow, or we will make you
follow.” So get in those lines kids and take a good book with
you because you’ll be there for awhile. I think anything that
J. K. Rowling has to say has to be valid.
She is, after all, number one.