Friday, February 13, 1998
Combat V-day with bitterness at its best
VIDEO: Talesof pathetic desperation, twisted love, revenge make
spending Valentine’s Day by yourself satisfying
By Cheryl Klein
Daily Bruin Senior Staff
In the eye of a hearts-and-flowers hurricane, there is a strange
anomaly called the single person. The person who, for whatever
reason, can’t be with that special someone on Valentine’s Day.
Maybe the special someone lives far away, or hasn’t had the good
fortune of meeting you yet. Maybe that special someone left you for
the cute server at The Cheesecake Factory and nothing would mend
your broken little heart more than a good old-fashioned revenge
flick.
The following are a few suggestions for a solo but satisfying
V-day. A&E discovered, in our search, how annoyingly happy
Hollywood likes its endings, but be assured that every video on the
list features cathartic moments of pathetic desperation and
bitterness at its best. Happy viewing.
Beavis and Butthead Do America (1996): Just when you were
feeling awkward and down on yourself, enter cartoondom’s ugliest,
stupidest, funniest big-nostriled high school students. And they’re
millionaires (or at least Mike Judge is), so there’s hope for you
yet. But no matter how many times they do America, they will never
score.
Boomerang (1992): Eddie Murphy is a player who gets a taste of
his own medicine. Who knew hammer toes could be so funny?
Chasing Amy (1997): Boy meets lesbian. Boy chases lesbian.
Lesbian turns out to be bi, but still rejects him in the end. Throw
in a cameo from "Clerks" veteran Silent Bob and you’ve got a
perfect holiday romance.
The Craft (1996): High school Goth girls know that living well
is not the best revenge. Witchcraft is. When a boy rejects you, you
cast a spell on him and make him your slobbering love slave. Now
that’s practical advice.
Fatal Attraction (1987): The staple on any self-respecting list
of love-turned-attempted-murder flicks. Glenn Close teaches us that
we can’t always