Friday, 5/30/97 Perhaps the kind judge will grant a delay
JUDGEMENT: President Clinton finds a minute out of his busy
schedule to request postponement
By Maureen Dowd New York Times Dear Susan Webber Wright, Federal
District Court, U.S. Courthouse, Little Rock, Ark. 72201: It’s
amazing that I found the time to write. But I just wanted to take a
moment out of my busy, busy, busy schedule to drop you a note and
tell you I am so tickled – I mean, delighted – that you will
preside over my upcoming trial for sexual harassment. It seems like
only yesterday that you were little Susie Webber, a student in my
admiralty law class at the University of Arkansas Law School. I’m
sorry I lost your final exam and tried to give you a C. You were
right to demand an A. My, time has flown since I was governor and
gave your husband, Bob, that prestigious appointment on the
Arkansas Supreme Court. The Arkansas Supreme Court! Anyhow, in
yesterday’s decision by the Supreme Court (not the Arkansas Supreme
Court!) that Paula Jones can drag me into court and take me away
from my virtually interminable efforts at building that bridge to
the 21st century, the justices said I could petition you to delay
the trial if it interferes with my duties. Do you find that there
are enough hours in the day for what you have to do? Imagine how I
feel! I am so overworked that I sleep in my clothes. I enclose, for
your perusal, a copy of yesterday’s Sisyphean schedule at the White
House. Sincerely, Bill Clinton P.S. I think the Oklahoma City trial
is going so much better without cameras in the courtroom, don’t
you? P.P.S. Pay no mind to those rumors about that bald eagle
tattoo. The bald eagle is the national bird! . . . Schedule for the
President for Thursday, May 29 5:15 a.m. – Go to Bosnia and bust
Karadzic. 6 a.m. – Stop in Brussels to reconfigure modalities and
instrumentalities. 6:35 a.m. – Return to White House. Eradicate
racism. 6:40 a.m. – Connect all children to the Internet. 7 a.m. –
Summit in Rio de Janeiro. Save rain forest with Sting. Avoid
Copacabana. 9 a.m. – Announce plans to rein in entitlements. 9:01
a.m. – Quietly abandon plans to rein in entitlements. 9:30 a.m. –
Put 400,000 new police officers on the street and congratulate
every one of them. 10 a.m. – Meet Hillary. Repair the breach. 10:15
a.m. – Visit the Mir space station. Noon – Move Democratic Party
toward the left. 12:05 p.m. – Move Democratic Party back toward the
center. 1 p.m. – Lunch with historians. Rebut the Millard Fillmore
analogy. 2 p.m. – Put people first. 2:15 p.m. – Off-the-record
meeting with Michael Jackson. 2:30 p.m. – Anti-tobacco rally on the
Ellipse. Smash ashtrays with Gore. 3 p.m. – Meeting with Dr. Laura
Schlessinger. Work through anger at Ginsburg/Breyer. 3:30 p.m. –
Call Stephanopoulos to find out whether Paula Jones trial would
help or hurt book advance. 4 p.m. – Meet fashion designers to
celebrate end of heroin chic. 5 p.m. Fire Bob Bennett. Contact
Daniel Petrocelli. 6 p.m. – Stand between poor children and all
hardships. 6:30 p.m. – Retard ozone depletion. 6:32 p.m. – Find a
controlling legal authority or two. 7 p.m. – Announce a ban on PAC
contributions to all Democratic candidates. Limit individual
contributions to $50. 7:30 p.m. – Meeting with Gore. Tell him to
take it like a man. 7:45 p.m. – Downtime with Trent Lott, Dick
Morris and Frank Luntz. 8 p.m. – Dinner with historians. Rebut the
Grover Cleveland analogy. 8:45 p.m. – Call CNN’s "Burden of Proof"
and tell them to stop linking me with Marv Albert. 9 p.m. to
midnight – Physical therapy. 1 a.m. – Meet with science advisers to
explore possibility of interplanetary travel to galaxies without
sexual harassment laws. 3 a.m. – Pray. Related Links:Court TV