Online, “instant” communication can be pretty great.
Appointments can be arranged or rescheduled, questions answered and
some business dealings can be conducted over the Internet.
Even quicker than e-mail and possibly as addictive as an illegal
substance, AOL Instant Messenger is a communication phenomenon
among college students.
Besides the convenience factor, communication over AIM can help
give friends, acquaintances or even semi-strangers the momentum
required to push their relationship to the next level on a more
informal and less intimidating medium than the telephone.
While an in-person situation may leave you struggling to think
of a witty or flirtatious comment, if the same situation should
arise while instant messaging, you’re awarded a much longer
reasonable response time. And even if you go beyond said acceptable
interval, you can always blame it on a plausible interruption, such
as a phone call, a question from a roommate, a bathroom break or
inferior typing skills.
But there’s a downside to this technological upgrade
““ an overall degradation in personal, face-to-face
contact.
Don’t believe me? Let’s take a hypothetical look at
what can happen when instant messenging is taken to the next step
““ a risk that may freeze your relationship or send you into
an emotional meltdown.
The following exchange is entirely fictional. The screen names
YouOnAIM and TheCrush are not based on real people. Rather, they
are meant to illustrate what can result when instant messenging
takes the place of human interaction in the process of romantic
pursuit.
Ңbull;Ӣbull;Ӣbull;
YouOnAIM: hey cutie
TheCrush: hi sexy, what’s up?
YouOnAIM: I was just thinking “¦
TheCrush: “¦ about me
YouOnAIM: well, yes, but i have a confession to
make. i think all this IMing is hurting, rather than helping our
relationship develop into something more
TheCrush: hmmm, not sure i agree. perhaps your
thoughts are muddled from staring at your computer screen for so
long.
YouOnAIM: that’s exactly it
TheCrush: you must be confused
TheCrush: reboot and you’ll come
around
TheCrush: and see that AIM has actually helped
spur
TheCrush: flirtation
TheCrush: and real conversation
TheCrush: afterall, i say things to you on here
i don’t think i could say in public
TheCrush: (scroll up) whenever you get back
that is “¦
YouOnAIM: hey, i’m back. sorry, just got
a phone call
TheCrush: RIGHT. ;LASDKAVSAKJV
YouOnAIM: hey, no need to get pissy. jeez, i
heard that yell all the way over here
TheCrush: didn’t mean the all caps
““ a book fell on my keyboard
YouOnAIM: riiiiiiiiight.
YouOnAIM: and I didn’t mean that
sarcasm
Autoresponse from TheCrush: phone. (i know it’s a generic
away message, but hey, at least i’m courteous enough to tell
you why i’m tied up.
YouOnAIM: hey, now that’s a cheap shot.
simma down, baby
TheCrush: ok ok. you know, we shouldn’t
be having a serious conversation like this on aim in the first
place.
YouOnAIM: yeah”¦”¦”¦”¦.
hey, I have a crazy idea
TheCrush: does it involve hand cuffs?
YouOnAIM: no, it’s called real-live human
interaction.
TheCrush: hmmm, interesting. sounds kinky
“¦
TheCrush: i could be into that. when do you
want to meet up?
YouOnAIM: in a few. i’ll IM you when
i’m ready.
TheCrush: hey
YouOnAIM: yeah, you ready? i’ll be over
in 10 mins
TheCrush: cool, but I stink “¦ just got
back from the gym. i need to shower!
YouOnAIM: what do you mean?
YouOnAIM: we just had this whole long
conversation about how we need to stop IMing all the time.
TheCrush: hmm, nope.
TheCrush: i’ve been gone for half an hour
“¦ must’ve been the roommate
YouOnAIM: WHAT?!
TheCrush: well, you can still come over
TheCrush: unless of course you think
we’re incapable of carrying on real conversation “¦
gasp, in person!
YouOnAIM: sounds crazy, doesn’t it?
TheCrush: crazy enough to be true, but i hope,
for our sake, it’s not.
Autoresponse from YouOnAIM: instant messaging =
delayed gratification and wasted time. i’m outside where the
sun helps relationships blossom, talking to TheCrush with birds
chirping ““ rather than keyboards clacking ““ in the
background.
YouOnAIM signed off at 8:52 PM.
Ңbull;Ӣbull;Ӣbull;
Sign off, get up, and go out. Give the keyboard a break, and
save yourself from carpal tunnel-inducing conversations. Pick up
the phone and call. Who knows ““ the crush may even put up an
away message with a 🙂 just for you.
Having trouble kicking the AIM habit? E-mail Bonos at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu to join her support group. Send general
comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.