In elementary school, one of my classmates, Eddie, became the
laughingstock of Mrs. Takata’s second grade class when we
found out that his mom wouldn’t let him watch “The
Little Mermaid.”
Being the immature brats that we were, my classmates and I
teased him to no end. His mother’s reason was that she felt
Ariel’s clamshell bikini was inappropriate for a
children’s movie. As absurd as this parental censorship may
seem to most of us, a small company called CleanFlicks is making a
business out of it.
Censorship is not only a disservice to the artist and the
art-loving audience, it’s a dangerous social choice. It draws
more lines between people, making it even more difficult for them
to connect, as fellow filmgoers, with a similar societal
experience. Censorship emphasizes the unknown and quite simply
doesn’t allow people to make mature choices for
themselves.
CleanFlicks has set out to re-edit and “sanitize” a
wide variety of films, so even the weird kid in class like little
Eddie will be allowed to watch a wide range of mob movies and
bloody thrillers on video or DVD without parents objecting.
Sounds like a good idea, right, seeing as how Hollywood is full
of sin and corruption? Get a load of what their mission
statement has to say first before you make any judgments.
While the copyright legality of these actions have yet to be
decided by the courts, the company’s Web site at
CleanFlicks.com says that it helps to maintain “high moral
values” so that the entire family can watch movies together
“without that “˜one scene’ that makes the movie
uncomfortable to watch.”
Many of CleanFlicks’ selections, however, appear to have
more than just that “one scene” that it would need to
edit out, in order to make their films Eddie’s
mom-approved.
Included is everything from “Scream” to
“Vanilla Sky” and even “Blow,” complex
films geared specifically toward more mature audiences. After being
re-edited by the company to exclude sex, nudity, profanity and
extreme violence, the Utah-based chain says that its videos and
DVDs are “free from objectionable elements.”
Strangely, the company says nothing about editing out under-age
minors snorting cocaine or getting intoxicated from hard liquor.
Clearly, these Utahans still know how to have a good time with
their families.
In a strange twist, however, you’ll find “Jingle All
the Way,” “Snow Dogs” and even “The
Kid” in their inventory as well. For one reason or another,
CleanFlicks felt these also had to be edited for
“objectionable elements,” despite the heavy
watchdogging that Disney already does for its own family
movies.
Now if I’m reading their mission statement correctly, it
would mean that somehow they cut enough footage out from movies
like “Scream” in order to “sanitize” them
to be just as child-friendly as the also censored “Jingle All
the Way.” The feat nearly compels me enough to pick up the
bloodless 18-minute edited version of Neve Campbell’s
thriller to see what they actually left IN the film.
That is, of course, except for the $27 VHS and $37 DVD price, if
you buy from the Web.
With CleanFlicks franchises sneaking into the video distribution
market and charging more for their movies, it’s no wonder
that last week, eight of the major studios based in Los Angeles
banded together to file suit against the
“family-oriented” company.
If left unchecked, who knows what the Utah company would do?
They may end up censoring “The Little Mermaid” as well,
placing a giant black circle over Ariel’s objectionable
animated body.
Oh, and what about Eddie?
Fast forward 12 years, and as far as I know, he’s still
living at home under the close supervision of his over-protective
mother in a quiet suburb in Sacramento. Although I have no idea how
sheltered and uptight this individual might have become, I can only
assume that when I saw him with his mom at the mall shopping for
underwear, it wasn’t objectionable at all.