Maybe I didn’t get my point across last week.
Yeah, it was all fun and games pitting “The
Simpsons” against the Bush clan, but the FOX network really
blew it late Tuesday night. Not that FOX is eternally in their
four-fingered debt or anything.
Instead of its regularly scheduled 11 p.m. Simpsons programming,
“FOX 11 News at Ten” decided to extend its time slot an
extra hour in order to cover a slow-speed car chase through
Pasadena and Glendale.
It was really quite amazing. FOX newscasters John Beard and
Christine Devine along with Sky FOX reporter Rod Bernsen decided
that covering two wayward youths driving a stolen Dodge Intrepid at
speeds of between 10 and 25 m.p.h. was much more important than my
daily Simpsons’ fix.
In true L.A. news fashion, Beard actually referred to the
would-be car thieves as “dumb and dumber,” then
lamented people who tie up freeways with car chases should be
punished more harshly.
However, the astute mustached one never ventured to guess that
perhaps it’s their over-the-top exposure of such non-events
during regular programming hours that drives so many Southland
folks to these extremes. Not everyone has the chops to get rejected
for fifteen seconds on “American Idol 2,” but anyone in
greater Los Angeles can steal a car knowing they are guaranteed
attention from all four major TV networks for hours at a time.
But enough soapbox talk. This is not the time to discuss social
ills. We are here for entertainment, and one of the lesson’s
we’ve learned this week is that NBC is outfoxing the FOX. NBC
has unleashed a volley of FOX-worthy quality programming Sunday and
Tuesday.
I am talking about “Kingpin,” considered by many to
be the bastard child of the film “Traffic” and
HBO’s powerhouse “The Sopranos.”
“Kingpin” will not be remembered as groundbreaking.
It is not an original show by any means. In fact the first two
episodes played out like most of Francis Ford Coppola’s
monumental “The Godfather” as much as the Soderbergh
film and the HBO series did. But the show is smart in that it knows
exactly what to steal and exactly how much.
I find it impossible to continue channel surfing if I happen to
spy a shot-up Sonny Corleone on late-night television. And I think
the producers of “Kingpin” are banking on that same
couch potato reflex.
And considering the fact that traditional blood and guts and
Springfield networks will be showing snail-paced car chases through
neighborhoods nowhere near Westwood, “Kingpin” will
undoubtedly be your best bet.
Regardless of what happens in the TV ratings wars, the moral of
the story is clear: Never trust a man named Beard who only has a
moustache.
Just a thought.
Look, maybe it’s just me, but neat and clean NBC seems to
be getting grittier. The apocalypse is upon us so pack up your
shotguns, peyote, ether, cigarettes and a razor, and head for the
woods. That may be the only place where you can get some true
FOX-worthy entertainment these days.
Now if only there was a way I could get “The
Simpsons” broadcast directly to my brain we might be getting
somewhere.
Fight the good fight: Give FOX 11 a call.