I race out ahead of the pack, as sweat drips from my brow. I
glance behind me, only to see that the other racers are gaining on
me. I don’t panic. I know I have to pace myself, to save for
a burst of speed at the end the race. As the end nears, I kick it
up a notch and cross the finish line first.
It’s 12:15 p.m., and I’ve made it in record time
from my class to the Delta Gamma sorority house, just in time for
lunch. I knew lunch would be burrito bar, so I ran extra fast.
For those interested in alternative track meets, one need only
head to Hilgard Avenue around lunchtime each day to watch sorority
members sprint back to their houses before the good food at lunch
disappears. It’s the best sporting event in town.
When my girlfriend Jessica first invited me to Delta Gamma for
lunch, I didn’t understand that it would take a marathon to
get there.
“Today I thought you were deadweight,” she told me
after my particularly poor effort earlier this week (we missed
enchiladas as a result).
It should be noted that I’m not in a fraternity or a
sorority, but I do know that when it comes to Greek life, this form
of competitive eating is a cornerstone of daily life.
Over at the fraternities, the race for food isn’t much
different. When I told my friend Adam I wanted to come over and
sample the eating experience at Phi Psi, he said it sounded like a
great idea.
“But get here early, people fight for the good
food,” he said.
My dinner at Phi Psi on Tuesday night was an exercise in speed,
agility and determination.
The menu consisted of traditional American fare: meatloaf,
mashed potatoes, green beans and for the health conscious, salad. I
grabbed a Styrofoam plate and closed in on a slice of meatloaf.
“That’s my piece,” Evan Marshall said, eyeing
the meatloaf.
I eventually settled down with a plate of food that no one else
had claimed, and started eating. I know fraternities have a
reputation for bad food, but I was kinda pleasantly surprised by
the dinner.
The green beans were sautéed to perfection, prepared in a
delectable Szechwan style, while the mashed potatoes were light and
fluffy. On the other hand, the Louisiana-style meatloaf looked like
solidified vomit ““ chunks of celery, carrots and bell peppers
dotted the gray slab of meat on my plate. I steered clear.
While many house members insist that meatloaf isn’t their
favorite, they all rave about house chef Patrice Diadhiou, whom
they consider a “cool guy” first and a cook second.
“They are very courteous,” Diadhiou said.
“They like everything we give them.”
Diadhiou wouldn’t tell me the secret ingredient to his
meat loaf, but I was assured it wasn’t barf.
You may be wondering, how does the food at Phi Psi compare to
what’s served over at Delta Gamma?
It might be a little unfair to compare the two because
I’ve sampled a wide variety of food at Delta Gamma and have
grown to love the burritos and enchiladas served there. And Steve
Zabielskis said Tuesday night’s dinner at Phi Psi was only a
“four or a five” on a scale of one to 10.
Adam suggested I come back another night, to sample his favorite
meal ““ chicken fingers and french fries. Other favorites
include country-fried steak or gumbo, that, according to Korey
Anvaripour, is probably “Everything left over in the fridge
dumped into a pot.”
If that’s the case, I admire Diadhiou’s willingness
to bring fusion food to Phi Psi.
Since we are talking about a fraternity, you have got to wonder,
when are the food fights?
“We don’t have them because we’d be too lazy
to throw the food,” Cliff Learn said.
If I’ve learned anything I can impart on Cliff, it’s
this:
It pays to have an active lifestyle when it comes to eating
Greek.
Can bicycle cops pull cars over? E-mail Miller at
dmiller@media.ucla.edu if you know the answer.