The temperature is rising, both literally and figuratively. The
weather is warm, and the pressures of finals and papers are
steadily mounting within every student’s head.
Do you find yourself putting off thinking about finals in favor
of daydreaming about spring break? If so, what would you say if I
told you there are more tests scheduled if you’re planning a
vacation with your significant other?
It’s not something you can necessarily study for, but the
first out-of-town excursion you and your partner share can help you
determine whether your budding relationship will pass or fail the
durability test.
Why is a trip like a crash test or crystal ball for your future?
Planning and embarking on a trip, or as the British like to say, a
“holiday,” can bring out the best and worst qualities
in people.
Upon entering college, I concluded that you didn’t truly
know someone until you’d lived with him or her. And after
embarking on my first journey with a brand new boyfriend, I decided
these wise words could be similarly applied to dating.
For example, if you’re just beginning to get to know your
partner, a trip can reveal all kinds of unattractive qualities,
prompting you to look longingly for a stop sign or shoulder ““
any chance to pull off the relationship road so you can ditch your
shotgun companion and sing as loud as you want, to whatever music
you want, in your now-blissfully-empty car.
Such red lights can sneak up on you in the middle of an
intersection in several different forms, including (but not limited
to): a bull-headed aversion to asking for directions; selfish,
one-sided trip planning; anile itinerary drafting (or nonexistent
planning); and complete disregard for others’ budgetary
constraints.
On the other hand, there are plenty of ways for a trip to act as
a green light for future travel down the well-paved road of a
long-running relationship. Traits and skills such as cooperation,
collaboration, creative problem-solving and a heightened sense of
direction (or at least the humility to allow others to point the
way) can give idling relationships the fuel they need to pick up
and get going.
Traveling together can be a fun and trust-building experience.
The choices you make while traveling, as well as the road to these
conclusions, can help put your relationship on cruise control
instead of a jolting stop-and-go ride reminiscent of the 405.
Obviously, some types of trips are tougher tests to pass than
others. For example, it’s much easier to sail through a
cruise than it is to hike through the backcountry, cooking your own
food and sleeping under the stars. But the tougher the terrain, the
more fulfilling the ultimate arrival at the end of the meandering
trail.
And remember, trip bloopers can be memorable highlights that
bring you closer together ““ if handled correctly. After all,
if you manage to go away for a few days and have nothing go wrong
““ or threaten to do so ““ you’re much too perfect
and boring to thoroughly enjoy each other’s company
anyway.
Whatever you do and wherever you go this spring break, make sure
to study your partner’s response to telltale situations and
take notes.
This is a test of your emergency response system. This is a test
of the durability of your relationship.
Even if you don’t have a travel partner lined up ““
or if your coupling is too young or undefined to accelerate to the
next level ““ you can still take a vacation brimming with
spring fling potential. Gather some friends together for a group
outing; you may surprise yourself by falling for a friend or making
some new ones on the road.
And don’t forget to travel light: Leave your winter
quarter baggage at home and bask in the springtime sun.
Bonos is the 2003-2004 copy chief. If you average her
one failed trip with four successful ones, she tallies a 3.60
vacation GPA. For more test-taking or study tips, e-mail her at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu.