Scott Dikkers and Peter Hilleren
“Destined For Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography
of George W. Bush”
Scribner
As we near Election Day, many people feel that the U.S. is worse
off since President George W. Bush took office. However, it’s
obvious that one group has benefited from the president’s
rise to power: comedians.
Now, from the editor in chief of the satiric newspaper The Onion
comes “Destined For Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography
of George W. Bush.”
“Destined” chronicles Bush’s life from his
childhood to the presidency. Along the way, he applies to college,
defeats the Viet Cong and meets Laura ““ a woman with the
“dazed and clueless stare reminiscent of a goat that had been
struck with a tire iron.”
What’s frightening about “Destined” is that it
doesn’t read like satire. The authors, The Onion’s
Scott Dikkers and former TV producer Peter Hilleren, so perfectly
capture the president’s hyperbole and mangling of English
that you sometimes forget it’s not fiction. For example,
George’s description of a battle against his mother over
green beans reads like the rhetoric the president uses to describe
the war on terrorism.
Perhaps the most true-to-life situation occurs when George
describes his birth and conception.
“I believe in a culture of life,” George says.
“Therefore, it is my view that I was born long before I was
born. … Some laws would have you believe I was not a citizen
until I was born the second time. But I believe that God’s
law supersedes man’s law. And God’s law states that
life begins when I say.”
As disturbingly real as the book can be, it has just enough
ridiculous humor to be a success. After all, any book that contains
photos of the president’s life with Jesus photoshopped in is
outrageous enough to laugh about without becoming depressed about
the current state of the nation.
Until you turn on the news, that is.