News can’t escape from cell phones

Cell phones are going to put the Katie Courics of the world out
of business ““ and I can’t wait.

I’m sick and tired of watching news anchors such as
Couric, who will receive $15 million in exchange for five years of
work for CBS, perform remedial tasks such as reading aloud,
smiling, looking into camera lenses, and providing little analysis
in exchange for such exorbitant amounts of money.

Let’s face it: Almost anybody (who speaks English and
graduated from the eighth grade) could do her job.

So now everybody is giving it a try.

And it’s all thanks to the camera phone. This pervasive
piece of technology has been a primary source in many of the
nation’s top news stories:

“¢bull; Pictures of a totally wasted Mel Gibson a few hours
before he decided to get into a car and ruin his reputation

“¢bull; The blurry feed of comedian Michael Richards, former
Seinfield star, using racial epithets to refer to some hecklers in
an audience at a comedy club

“¢bull; The shocking video of Saddam Hussein being taunted
before his execution

“¢bull; And here at UCLA, the now infamous Powell Library Taser
incident

Normally the news covers painfully dull topics such as the
economy or some cat from Alabama that got lost in Alaska but
somehow made its way back home in a shipment of bananas.

But due to an attentive average Joe with a cell phone camera, we
as a nation instead discussed more provocative topics such as
racism in the United States, the appropriate uses of police power,
and why anyone would have something against Saddam Hussein.

Do not immediately think, however, that cell phone cameras are
only a tool of the common man.

During the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the first pictures
NBC aired of the roof damage occurring in the Superdome were taken
by Brian Williams with his cell phone .

And CNN invited viewers to send their personal videos last year,
taken with any device, to the network.

The network has an entire staff that does nothing but sort
through the videos in search of the most newsworthy ones. Scroll
through Yahoo! News one day and you’ll notice an icon labeled
“You Witness News.”

There you’ll find not only videos taken by other viewers
but actual attempts at newscasts. Yahoo! even provides advice and
tips in its video tutorials on how to be a “solo
journalist” and “tell a story.”

Broadcast journalists now must compete with every schmuck who
has a camera from Wal-Mart and is capable of downloading streaming
video.

This is what television news deserves for being arrogant enough
to think it could possibly provide valuable information to its
viewers 24 hours a day, every single day of the year.

Yesterday as New York officials attempted to find out where the
odd smell permeating the city came from, the talking heads on CNN
played pictures of New York over and over again, while repeating,
over and over again, that they had absolutely no idea what was
going on.

What do newscasters have in common with Paris Hilton and
ice-cream tasters? It seems like just about anyone could do their
jobs.

Another issue the pervasiveness of cell phone cameras raises is
that of privacy. When virtually every person has a cell phone, and
nearly every cell phone has a camera, no one is safe from having
their embarrassing moments magnified and shown to the world.

Which is terrific. At least for you and me. Because no one
really cares if we slip and fall or say something stupid or
inappropriate. We’re not public figures, so our follies are
not interesting or important.

It is important, though, to know about the faults of the people
who do have some influence.

If I were an Iraqi citizen, I would be glad the cell phone video
exposing the unprofessional execution of Hussein was leaked.

The principals of democracy teach us that if the people with
power know they’re being watched they are probably less
likely to abuse their positions. Just imagine how much more
interesting American politics would be if, say, someone had
followed Dick Cheney around with a cell phone camera in the
woods.

I also think it’s appropriate if celebrities like
Richards, who use their public personas to make money, are a little
paranoid about making offensive, tasteless and, worst of all,
completely unfunny jokes.

And if there’s one thing I just can’t stand more
than unfunny jokes, it’s Katie Couric.

Join in the revolution my friends ““ it’s the only
way to stop these people from boring us to death.

E-mail Strickland at kstrickland@media.ucla.edu. Send
general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.

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