Decades ago, modes of communication such as text messages, Skype, AIM and Facebook were unknown. Even cell phones and the Internet were just being invented.
Today, they have all transformed the way we interact with others, say experts in the field.
As technology becomes integrated into the means of communication, it has taken an increasingly active role in developing and maintaining romantic relationships.
The Internet is creating new opportunities for people to connect who otherwise would not be in the same social circles; cell phone use is proliferating; and Skype, a free Internet phone service, allows couples to stay in contact even if they are far apart, said psychology Professor Thomas Bradbury.
“I believe we are seeing a new era in which various technologies are becoming woven into the fabric of intimate relationships,” Bradbury said.
Jeffrey Cole, director of the Center for the Digital Future at the USC Annenburg School for Communication, has studied the impact of the Internet on relationships and found that the Internet expands a person’s social network and enables increased communication between people.
“The Internet has changed almost everything about relationships,” Cole said. “Dating has completely changed now that people find and learn about each other through sites like Facebook or dating services and even break up over e-mail.”
The Internet has also increased total communication because time spent physically with other has not decreased while instant messaging allows people to talk even when they cannot see each other face to face, Cole said.
Eric Dixon, a third-year mechanical engineering student, said he has experienced how technology can enhance a relationship by maintaining the attraction between two people even when they are not physically together.
Dixon’s girlfriend, third-year Spanish and linguistics student Melissa Russell, spent a semester in Spain, and Dixon said communication using phone cards quickly became expensive, so they turned to Skype.
“Skype made everything so much more convenient because it was free and we could talk as long as we wanted without worrying about minutes running up,” Dixon said. “Talking with Skype every day and e-mailing each other allowed us to continue growing the emotional bond in our relationship even though we were apart.”
Dixon said that despite the lack of physical interaction, technology allowed him and his girlfriend to get to know each other better through ways that would have been impossible without the Internet.
One of the major benefits of Internet services is being able to stay connected with people who we otherwise would have little contact with, said Michael Suman, UCLA communication studies professor and research director at the Center for the Digital Future.
“The Internet provides a convenient and efficient way of being able to contact people, allowing us to be connected to more people at the same time,” Suman said.
The Internet also allows people to form relationships online, and many people later meet up with people they met online, Suman added.
Indeed, dating Web sites such as eHarmony have flourished because it has been able to match up compatible people who likely would not meet otherwise.
Online dating services provide a new way of meeting someone but do not change how a relationship develops once the couple is together, said Gian Gonzaga, senior research scientist at eHarmony Labs.
“We find the values predicting couples being happy in the long haul, and then match singles who share the same attributes,” Gonzaga said. “It is like there being 10 people at a bar and us telling you which one of them is most compatible with you.”
An important aspect of any relationship, though, is personal contact, because just using various types of technology limits the development of the relationship, Gonzaga said.
“Technology enhances relationships because there is more communication and increasing ways for people to interact, but you also miss out on some things,” Gonzaga said. “You cannot replace face-to-face interaction with technology.”
Brittany Williams, third-year political science student, utilized a Sidekick, which allows users to talk and send text messages or pictures to each other, while she was in a long-distance relationship, but found that there are challenges in making a relationship last without personal contact.
Williams’ high school boyfriend went to UC Berkeley, but they stayed together for three years by talking on the phone every day and text messaging each other often.
“Technology sustained our relationship, but after a while, not being able to see each other and spend time together hurts because we cannot give the proper affection to one other,” Williams said. “We used every outlet of technology and would carry on conversations on AIM throughout the day, but I would always look forward to seeing him in person.”
Technology has clearly expanded the possibilities of communication, but it is still to be seen whether the relationships that rely on technology are better in the long term, Bradbury said.