Remember that scene in “Almost Famous” in which the Led Zeppelin superfan, Vic, walks through the hallways, holding proudly a pen that Robert Plant himself had touched?
Well, aside from the fact that I don’t like Led Zeppelin, I am basically Vic. I like to think I’m not quite so geeky and starstruck, but the trinkets and souvenirs I’ve collected over the years would say otherwise.
Most of my mementos are normal enough ““ a drumstick from Beirut, a guitar pick from The (International) Noise Conspiracy, a set list from Man Man ““ but there are definitely some exceptions. The giant inflatable Santa Claus I got at the most recent Sufjan Stevens concert comes to mind.
Obviously, I’m not alone in doing this ““ the impulse to collect physical objects as a way of remembering specific events is far from uncommon. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t instances in which collecting things related to celebrities can go too far.
Take, for example, the owner of Recycled Records, a man I met in San Francisco over spring break. I was in line waiting to buy a used record of Japanese koto music, when my friend noticed all the autographs tacked up on the wall by the counter. The owner jumped at the opportunity to talk about all the artists he’d met over the years and, after several minutes, he told us he would show us his favorite memento of all, which he kept out of sight in a cardboard box behind the register.
And what was in the box? At first glance it looked like some crumpled but clean bits of toilet paper. But then the owner explained they were tissues that Michael Jackson had used to wipe off his face in the bathroom of the store.
Apparently, the owner waited for Jackson to leave the store before going into the bathroom and digging the tissues out of the trash can.
So I’m starting to think this guy is a bit creepy. But then he goes on. He says he’s had the tissues since Jackson had “that thing on his nose” ““ which, if my memory serves me, was something to help his nose heal naturally after he had plastic surgery on it in the late ’90s.
So this Recycled Records guy has been showing curious customers Michael Jackson’s sweaty face towels for the better part of 10 years.
Things wrong with this picture: One, that’s kind of unsanitary. Two, why not just ask him for an autograph or a photo? Three, had Jackson been there to hear about it, no doubt he would be disturbed, and why do something that would disturb someone you think so highly of?
What was initially a souvenir of a cool event became little more than an invasion of privacy. There is still a level of respect we need to have for celebrities as people, no matter how much we want to prove to our customers that we personally met ““ someone like Michael Jackson.
And while I am very pleased with my own collection of trinkets, I know it’s a slippery slope. But, with a little common sense, it’s not very hard to avoid being that creepy man who causes young adults to skitter awkwardly from their record store as soon as a purchase is made.
All it really takes is consideration for what the celebrity would think about whatever it is you have. I’m sure Beirut is fine with someone having its drumstick, but I doubt Madonna feels the same about someone digging through her bins come trash day, looking for a used wad of chewing gum.
E-mail Duhamel at dduhamel@media.ucla.edu if you keep all of his columns in a shoebox in your closet.