I have a dream. That one day I will start off a column with my own original idea.
Today is not that day, but I did have a dream.
After a long day of work and class, the pillow could not come soon enough. I have one of those memory foam pillows, and before you ask, yes, they are amazing.
I hit the bed and was asleep within minutes, dreaming about bananas that attack you and 6-foot squirrels scampering through the forest. You know, normal stuff.
Then in the midst of REM sleep, the trees parted, the sun came out, and I was in Los Alamitos, Calif.
The bananas and squirrels were gone, and were replaced by a giant pool and women’s water polo coach Adam Krikorian.
I know most people have dreams that segue from giant squirrels to Adam Krikorian, but this one was special. The pool was packed with loud cheering fans, “AK” was even more excited than usual, and the competition in the pool was fierce.
I was at the women’s water polo NCAA Championships that are scheduled for this upcoming weekend.
I saw into the future.
It was a little hazy, so I couldn’t quite make out who was taking the shots, but she was wearing a blue UCLA cap and skipped a shot into the back of the net that gave the Bruins the lead. I saw the clock ticking down and the tension rising.
And then I saw the clock hit zero and women’s water polo won its third consecutive national title, and brought home the elusive 100th NCAA Championship for the school.
All of the players were in the water except for the few who were behind Krikorian to toss him into the pool.
I watched everyone celebrating, and then the trees closed and the bananas came back.
I’m not saying I’m Nostradamus, I’m just telling you what I saw. I looked into the crystal ball that is my memory foam pillow and saw UCLA hoisting the championship trophy.
The few people who I’ve told about my mystical dream were skeptical. I don’t blame them. There are some things the world just isn’t ready for. The world wasn’t ready for Carmen Electra trying to rap in the early ’90s, and most of the world still isn’t ready for the Euro-mullet popularized by European soccer players.
Some things are just too crazy to understand, or maybe people don’t want to.
True, this divination talent has yet to be verified. In only a few short days we will know whether I am a prophet, or if my pillow lied to me.
And true, if I do have the power of divination it is frustrating that this is the first appearance. I seem to remember a 2007 men’s basketball bracket. A bracket that laid crushed and whimpering when Texas lost to USC. Where was the divination power then?
I slept the night before the tournament started. I slept well, too. There was plenty of time for my pillow to share some trade secrets with me. Jerk.
Instead I had to join the mass of people making excuses and wondering what went wrong.
I’ll be honest with you, if the water polo championship does go exactly how I saw it, I’ll be scared. Because I can’t control it.
It’s one thing to make a conscious choice to look into the future. It’s another thing to not only have no say over when you do it, but what you see. I could end up watching the return of the dinosaurs. If people think you’re crazy when you dream about water polo, try telling them a velociraptor is on the way.
I can’t speak about the dinosaurs because I didn’t see it, but I’m debating whether or not to watch water polo on TV this weekend. After all, it is a rerun.
E-mail Gordon at bgordon@media.ucla.edu if you had the exact same dream.