Robert Cesario read personalized vows at his wedding to Mark Alton Brown, his partner of nearly 34 years, in a ceremony in Kerckhoff Grand Salon on Thursday.
Since its formation three years ago, the Student Coalition for Marriage Equality has pushed for marriage laws and benefits to extend to everyone, including the gay and lesbian community.
This was the group’s third annual same-sex marriage ceremony. In addition to political activism, the ceremony was meant to show that these are just two people who love each other and their family, just like heterosexual couples, and that they want all the same rights as heterosexual married people.
The vows were not, as Cesario put it, about anticipation of the life he would have with his partner. He said he never could have anticipated the life that they had already shared.
He said that when the two met in 1974 at Webster College, he could not have anticipated that they would still be together almost 34 years later. He could not have anticipated that they would move to New York and then Los Angeles together, or that they would become the proud owners of Charlie the dog and Sprinkles the cat, or the even prouder parents of two adopted children: Ella, 7, and Sander, 4.
He also could not have anticipated that they would get married in San Francisco in 2004, and have another ceremony at UCLA this year.
“I just can’t imagine a more loving couple than these two men. These two people really like each other, and they really love each other. They embody the concept of inclusion,” said Kira Tirimacco, a friend of the couple and member of the wedding party.
Gian Piero Doebler, a doctoral student in Italian, was there in solidarity for the couple and for the support of gay marriage.
“It is very dear to my heart. My partner and I have been together for 25 years. I’m here to support the couple,” Doebler said.
Amanda Schroeder, a third-year math and applied science student, said she has attended all three ceremonies held by the group.
“I’ve always really enjoyed them, and found them really inspiring and hopeful,” Schroeder said.
Brad Sears, the executive director of the Charles R. Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, was the keynote speaker at the ceremony. He apologized for dressing so casually, saying that he had expected a protest, not an actual wedding.
“I came prepared to talk about law, but I feel ridiculous talking about law when we should be talking about love,” Sears said.
When guests arrived, they could pick up material related to the issue of gay marriage.
There was one pamphlet called “Marriage: What Are We Fighting For?” that illustrated the legal benefits married couples have, including access to Social Security and life insurance, next-of-kin status in case of an emergency, and invocation of spousal privilege in a court of law.
Rachel Zwass, the external vice president of the Student Coalition for Marriage Equality, spoke briefly about her personal decision to become a straight ally for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.
“I didn’t do it to be political or even because I knew it was the right thing to do. I did it because I wanted to be active for the people I love,” Zwass said.
Some students still hold strong to the view that marriage is between a man and a woman and expressed concern about Thursday’s wedding ceremony.
Jennifer Propper, the vice chairwoman of the Bruin Republicans, said she believes the ceremony weakened heterosexual marriage by challenging its very definition. She did not attend the wedding.
“I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and I’m sad in this society that we’ve lost sight of that. This ceremony undermines the real meaning of marriage and its role at the basis of civilization,” Propper said.
Some attendees came just to support the couple. Dee LaDuke, a member of the wedding party, has been a friend of the family for more than 30 years. She spoke about the bond between the two men, and the significance of the day.
“We’re not celebrating a gay marriage. We’re celebrating a great marriage,” LaDuke said.