A shout out to veterans of all ilks

This past Sunday was Veteran’s Day, which is, contrary to some common misconceptions, not just a holiday about canceling classes on Monday. It’s a day about our veterans, when it’s important to stop and take a moment to think about the brave men and women of our armed forces who have fought to keep our country safe. So, just in case you didn’t get a chance over the weekend, I’d like to take another one of those moments now.

Okay, good.

Now, after acknowledging the veterans of the real world, I thought I’d take a little more time to look around the sports world, and find out who else has been doing their part to, ahem, honor their sports’ veterans.

The Carolina Panthers: Anyone employing Vinny Testaverde is unquestionably in touch with the plight of the old football soldier. And in the NFL, there’s no one who quite personifies the word “veteran” like Testaverde, who turned 44 this week and earlier this season became the oldest starting quarterback to win a game in the NFL, while also extending his own bizarre record of throwing a touchdown in 21 straight seasons.

And don’t dare think that Vinny’s just a journeyman who’s stuck around the game too long ““ he’s been getting it done for years. I mean, who can forget his inspired play for the University of Miami in 1986, the year in which he won the Heisman Trophy? Better question: Who can remember? Certainly not I, given that I was approximately 9 months old at the time.

Kellen Winslow, Jr.: This Cleveland Browns tight end celebrated Veteran’s Day by pulling in five catches and a touchdown in a loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Why is that important? Because during a postgame rant while at Miami several years ago, Winslow famously declared himself to be “a … soldier.” That, of course, would make him a veteran now.

And, clearly, only a true American hero could get away with saying something like “It’s war. They don’t give a … you-know-what about you … they’re out there to kill you. So I’m (going to) kill them.” While less staunch patriots might have reserved such strong words for, say, the Nazis or al-Qaida, the “they” Winslow was talking about was a far more insidious and underappreciated threat to our country’s freedom: the University of Tennessee football team.

Notre Dame football: You’ve got to hand it to the Fighting Irish ““ they’re a forward-thinking bunch. They’re already trying to cater to the needs of our future veterans, by losing to Air Force this past weekend and to Navy the weekend before. This marks the first time Notre Dame has lost to Navy since 1963, which, coincidentally, was also the year Vinny Testaverde was born.

This also might help explain why the UCLA football team lost to Notre Dame in October: the Irish were clearly fired up to play a team without any soldiers. So, in hindsight, we can now add “recruiting members of ROTC” to the list of things Karl Dorrell hasn’t been doing enough of.

Army, Navy, Air Force and all the Armed Forces, whether they’re affiliated with a service academy or not: Seriously. All jokes aside, without the military, it wouldn’t be possible for the rest of us to laugh about Notre Dame football and Kellen Winslow, Jr.’s big mouth. Think what you will of the civilians in charge of the military as a whole, but the individual soldiers and retired soldiers deserve our honor and gratitude, regardless of what day it is. So do me a favor and remember that now and then.

And if you’ve really got some spare time, go look up “Kellen Winslow soldier tirade” on YouTube. Because if you don’t, well, then you’re letting the University of Tennessee football team win.

If reading this column has left you paralyzed by incoherent, Kellen Winslow Jr.-like rage, Lampros can be contacted at nlampros@media.ucla.edu.

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