Writers, use strike to get back in form

Who, me? Worried?

I, for one, can’t say that I’m very worried about the writer’s strike.

The hardest-hit are the shows that, in all honesty, could use a little time off. The new crop of fall shows has been largely disappointing (“Back to You,” “Cavemen,” “Carpoolers”) with only a few diamonds in the rough (“Reaper,” “Chuck,” “Big Shots”).

Running the gamut in between are the shows that I merely tolerate out of sincere boredom which offer maybe a chuckle or two for 30 minutes of my time (“Aliens in America,” “The Big Bang Theory”) ““ or out of hope that it will bear up and be the show I expect it to be (“Life”).

Such gems as “Californication,” “Burn Notice” and “Battlestar Galactica” have either ended their seasons or have yet to begin them until the start of next year. For them, the strike’s impact is far less than that upon shows currently running.

The majority of the fall’s new shows are heading into episode eight of the season, a solid third of the way through. And yet, one would be hard-pressed to name a truly stand-out series.

If given a choice between watching some shows with promise merely tread water in a sea of mediocrity for the remainder of their seasons or to simply go without, I’ll take the latter.

The following is a list of suggestions for the writers on strike to think about ““ that is, if they want to actually have their shows survive long enough to garner them the DVD residuals they so deeply desire:

““ “The Big Bang Theory”: Honestly, lose the eye candy. I know Leonard’s perpetually unrequited love and the ratio of geeks to beauty make for a very punny title. And I’m sure the writers were very proud when they conjured it up in the writer’s room and it will be hard to part with, but it’s for the best. The plain truth is that the show is at its best when the socially inept geniuses stumble through the trials and tribulations of societal norms. The requisite, periodic appearances by the hot neighbor just slow things down.

““ “Chuck”: Get a move on, already. It took a quarter of the season to remind me that an overarching plot even existed. The fact is that the audience is still (largely) in the dark as to why Chuck was the recipient of this cornucopia of government secrets. And it had damn well better be a better explanation than, “He’s really good at perceiving subliminal imagery.” Give me a reason to believe in his potential, to root for him. The viewers need more reason to be in Chuck’s corner, and no amount of “The O.C.” alumni stunt casting will suffice to distract us from that.

““ “Reaper”: The predictability of the demon-of-the-week format is getting stale. The pacing of every episode is like clockwork; I can even set my watch by it. Mix things up with more of the supporting cast such as the likable Ben and the overbearing Ted. And what happened to Sam’s family? Show us more variety in the locales than more generic, drab and overcast Vancouver-for-Seattle. And it wouldn’t hurt to have a larger plot over the course of the season. Hell, give the characters a road trip if you have to.

““ “Big Shots”: Give Christopher Titus more to do! The man’s comic talents are being woefully underutilized. While the other three male leads have their own charming storylines, it seems poor Titus is relegated to being the hatchet man. He spends half his time lamenting his wife’s henpecking and the other half being his buddies’ gopher. Giving him He-MS, sympathy PMS, so he can spend the episode vacillating between emotional extremes is just plain cheap.

““ “Life”: As tried and true as the fundamentals of police procedure may be, don’t be afraid to stretch the wings. Don’t spend so much time in each episode on these reliable mainstays and tropes. What’s really interesting is Detective Crews and how his time in prison has really changed him and his pursuit of justice. It certainly wouldn’t hurt to flesh out the supporting cast’s backstories at a slightly faster rate than the current glacial pace.

In the meantime, I’ll be taking these shows’ hiatuses to catch up on some reading. Not a sports page, not a magazine ““ but a book, readers, a very good book.

If you’d like him to get residuals for his writing, e-mail dleng@media.ucla.edu.

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