When associated with the relationship realm of life, a certain behavior is stereotypically expected from men and rejected by women.
Too many people assume that playing the game implies multiple dating options and deliberate, malicious manipulation.
But the game I speak of is not that of blatant heartbreaking or misleading strife.
I’m talking about keeping the excitement and mystery alive and holding someone’s interest, because, let’s face it: The nice guy (or girl) really does always finish last.
Stop playing by all the proper rules of a relationship and break out with some of these little twists.
As obvious as it sounds, hold off on rushing between the sheets with a new love interest.
I’m not saying you should jump up from the horizontal position and run away moments before penetration. I’m actually saying avoid the bedroom altogether. Sexual frustration is not the worst thing that could happen; in fact, it’s pretty hot.
And this off-limits mentality holds mutual benefits for both genders. Holding off can show women that you respect boundaries and equalities. To a guy, it will keep intrigue and minimize labeling that could hinder the possibility of a meaningful relationship.
Overall, waiting will make the payoff much more valuable and quite steamy.
In the early stages of a relationship, it’s easy to remain interested. You don’t yet know everything about your new significant other and the process of simply discovering each other can make or break the relationship.
When that initial intrigue begins to fizzle out, restimulate it by softly tickling the jealousy bone.
Chances are, the reason for initial attraction between the two of you was physical, so cuddling up to a third party will remind this new person of just how hot you are. When another person chats you up or shares a smile in the presence of your girl or guy, go with it. You are subtly reminding them just how great of a catch you are.
Harmless flirtation with someone he or she knows you will never see again will create a sense of belonging between the two of you and allow you to temporarily stretch your independence. Just remember you can look ““ but don’t touch.
With that initial intrigue, it’s easy to get caught up in a new relationship and lose sight of your “strong, independent, single identity.”
Make it a point not to alter your schedule too much for your new lover.
One of the reasons he or she was initially interested in you may have been your proactive lifestyle and ability to balance it all.
Don’t ever drop your girls’ night out or boys-only poker night. Staying equally busy will prevent the onset of claustrophobia and allow you to value the time you do get to spend together.
Show your interest without altering your fabulous lifestyle.
With that said, there are some games that really are a waste of everyone’s time.
Waiting the obligatory three days to call someone back after a first or second date is just ridiculous.
If we have a good time and you are into me, I want to know. I don’t want to spend three nights waiting for you to call, with both of us sleep-deprived and overanalyzing.
If you’re not that into me, that’s just fine. I understand the hit-or-miss mentality in my age range of the dating pool.
However, if you want to continue whatever sparks we started, call me and let me know before I curse your name and bury you among the pile of men who didn’t deserve me.
And finally, cheating, the ultimate taboo of dating, will never be an appropriate game to play.
I’d rather have my current guy have the courage to actually tell me he was interested in someone else than give me that horrible and nauseous feeling of betrayal.
In relationships, there is no such thing as having your entree and all-you-can-eat side dishes, too. With the modern stalking capacities of Facebook and MySpace, as well as the six degrees of separation, you will get caught.
There is no easy way to end a relationship, but I assure you that cheating is the absolute worst way you could go about it.
These things aside, open your mind to break some rules.
You may be surprised when someone knocks you off your feet and makes you smile for days on end.
E-mail Forde at nforde@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.