How appropriate that last Thursday night, as Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama debated foreign policy in Hollywood, I engaged in a heated debate of personal policy in Westwood. In light of Super Tuesday and political mayhem everywhere, I thought it only fitting to relay my delicate debate to you.
A far cry from extracting troops in Iraq, I found myself talking about forced insertion in individuals, particularly related to sexual abuse.
Let me explain the “hypothetical” situational details of this discussion.
A young woman looks forward to a night out with friends. Alcohol is consumed. A few hours are spent dancing among people she knows. Around 3 a.m., exhaustion takes over and the young woman passes out on a friend’s couch. She wakes up to grunting moans and suddenly feels something foreign on her leg. Then a blanket is thrown on top of her and she falls back asleep.
Hypothetical situation No. 2: A woman walks to her car after some late-night studying at the library. Before she can unlock the door, she is approached by an acquaintance who proceeds to rip off her panties and enter her. Once finished, he runs away. The woman calls 911 through tears.
Hypothetical situation No. 3: As a somewhat public figure, a woman is easily contacted via the Internet. One person then takes this availability too far. That person repeatedly sends the woman countless, sexually explicit e-mails asking her to meet and expecting a response. The harassment remains virtual, however, and no physical assault is committed.
Which situation is sexual abuse?
Trick question. All three situations are cases of sexual abuse where one was a more obvious crime than the others. Two out of the three, however, will likely go unreported when they are, in fact, still a crime.
What is sexual abuse? Popular replies would include rape, anything involving drugs, and physical force.
Of course, “popular” would imply that people are actually willing to touch on this topic. It’s ridiculous how taboo a subject of such importance is when knowledge could help with the reduction of the crime.
Sexual assault can range from verbal or written harassment to uncomfortable touching to forced penetration.
According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, rape is defined as “forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal, or oral penetration … by a body part or an object.” Sexual assault is “unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape,” but some states use these two terms interchangeably.
The seriousness of rape, the most heinous of violent crimes next to murder, seems sadly distant to most college-aged adults. The reality is that we are the victims; 80 percent of all sexual assault victims are under the age of 30.
Rape and sexual assault have become such uncomfortable subjects due to the parameters in which they occur.
If he is your friend, your father, or even your boyfriend, it can still be rape. If you wore a low-cut mini dress it can still be rape. If you are gay, it can still be rape. If you initially agreed but then changed your mind and voiced that change, it can still be rape.
In my opinion, if you have to question whether or not assault occurred at all, the event most likely qualifies as a crime.
There are many ways to avoid becoming a victim of sexual assault.
A rapist is not likely to be preying on strangers from inside a bush on a dark street corner. Almost two-thirds of all rapes in 2006 were committed by someone who is known to the victim. Seventy-three percent of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger ““ 38 percent of perpetrators were a friend or acquaintance of the victim, 28 percent were an intimate and 7 percent were another relative.
Keep this in mind when you are around people you know but don’t necessarily trust, especially when alcohol is involved.
Never be afraid to say no, and always remember that you can change your mind at any time. This goes for both men and women.
Although the highest percentage of rape victims is college-aged women, (four times more likely than any other gender, race, or age group), males make up an estimated 10 percent of victims.
Either way, have enough confidence and personal responsibility not to let yourself become a victim.
Don’t debate rape versus non-rape but rather silence versus speaking out. That is the first step to healing personally and helping enormously.
And if you need someone to talk to, the National Sexual Assault Hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Need help or know someone who does? E-mail Forde at nforde@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.