The female orgasm has been labeled the unicorn of the sexual world ““ a pure figment of our imagination.
That comparison is far from the truth. I believe a more appropriate term would be “nature’s Rubik’s cube”: It takes time to see what works, and it’s very easy to get lost, but once you master it, success can be achieved in a matter of minutes.
UCLA students are currently working on identifying the puzzle of the female orgasm in Christine Suarez’s “Wet Spots: The Story Project,” a performative exploration of climactic experiences.
A few theories have previously been developed.
According to sex educators Marshall Miller and Dorian Solot, one of the major reasons it is difficult for women to achieve orgasm through intercourse is based on a comparison of the numbers. On average it takes men only two to five minutes to get in, get off and get out. But for women, it can take 20 minutes or more to reach orgasm.
Or perhaps the dilemma can be revealed by another inconsistency between men and women. Apparently, according to SexualityEducation.com, “44 percent of men say their female partners always have orgasms when they have sex. Twenty-two percent of women say they always have orgasms when they have sex.” A minor disagreement, to say the least.
Though these statistics shed some light on the problem of achieving female orgasm, I believe one reason trumps them all: namely, the lack of communication when it comes to finding out what works for an individual woman’s body.
No female body is identical to another.
Kim Wallen, a professor of psychology and behavioral neuroendocrinology at Emory University, found only about 7 percent of women consistently have orgasms with sex alone, and 27 percent never do.
A distance as small as 2.5 centimeters can affect a women’s ability to have orgasm via the penis during vaginal intercourse.
Therefore, there exists no quick fix when it comes to bringing a woman to climax.
The answer lies in two places. First, women must be willing to explore their own bodies to find out what works. Second, women cannot be afraid to say what works once they have found it. Holding the magic key is only half the battle. Share the knowledge.
Breaking this silent cycle, Christine Suarez, a graduate student in the UCLA Department of World Arts and Cultures, created and developed “Wet Spots: The Story Project,” opening this week at the Venice Beach Eco Cottages.
A performative exploration devoted to the female orgasm, “Wet Spots” is a display of collective small dances of nine women, ages 19 to 51.
These women share their stories and their secrets of sexual experience ““ everything from the gut-wrenching to the gut-busting. The dances cover experiences of fulfillment, faking it and even learning to let go.
When asked about her inspiration for the show, Suarez said, “I think orgasm can be a very shameful issue. I wanted to tap into that place. It is a scary and vulnerable place potentially. On the other hand, orgasms are these amazing, fun, extremely pleasurable things that our bodies give us.”
Suarez wants to diminish the stigma that comes with orgasm for both men and women. If her audience can walk out of the show and gain the ability to share stories of orgasm, losing some of the pressure, the show will have been successful.
Two of Suarez’s dancers share her sentiment in bringing such an intimate act to such a public place.
Kai Hazelwood, a third-year world arts and cultures student, said, “It’s a little uncomfortable, of course, but that’s what makes a work interesting.”
April Rose Wilson, a second-year world arts and cultures student, believes she was perfect for this show from the start.
“I am extremely open and comfortable about a lot of things people don’t talk about,” she said.
Overall, “Wet Spots” epitomizes the necessary exploration of the female orgasm to make it real and consistently attainable.
The female orgasm has the potential to elevate your sex life from good to great, for both men and women. The openness that Suarez advocates in “Wet Spots” is essential in this discovery.
While everyone can’t be expected to bring their orgasms to the stage, making your partner your private audience and communicating with him or her is necessary.
Discussing sex does not make it any less of an intimate act.
It simply makes it a better act.
Baffled by the female orgasm? E-mail Forde at nforde@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.