Digging through old photos the other day, I found a picture I had long forgotten: a tree bursting with a cascade of red, orange and yellow leaves. It must have been maybe two or so weeks after entering UCLA when I took it at the top of Bruin Walk, in between Powell and the then-nonexistent Physics and Astronomy Building.
Every year since then, as the quarters progressed from fall to winter to spring, I’ve watched these leaves display all their glory in autumn splendor, then shrivel and fall to the ground to reveal the trees’ nakedness, then sprout new buds with the approach of the last term of the year.
And this spring will be my last.
As much as cliches disgust me, I would be a very big liar to say that college hasn’t been the stereotypical journey of "finding your true self," because college helped me to do exactly that: to pick up the torn and shoddy pieces of my life into something I’ve finally convinced myself as worthy of faith.
And in retrospect, the Bruin deserves a lot of credit for this process.
To be honest, I think I’ve taken the Bruin for granted all these years. And even sometimes, in the midst of midterms and term papers while juggling a multitude of volunteer commitments and jobs, I would scold myself, "Why, oh why, didn’t I quit the Bruin?"
The truth is, I’ve tried to convince myself to quit probably every quarter, knowing that I already have too much on my plate. But the greater truth is that I simply couldn’t let it go: I couldn’t let go of the chance to investigate topics of my interest through every column. I couldn’t let go of the challenging-yet-addicting process of formulating fresh perspectives and the push for provocative discourse.
But most of all, I couldn’t let go of the conversations ““ the hundreds of conversations I’ve had the privilege of having with students, professors, administrators, and beyond. Because what other chance would allow me to talk to anyone on campus about anything and everything? And after every interview, I always couldn’t help but tell myself, "This is why I’m still writing." Every person had something to say, and I always learned something that challenged my ways of viewing the world.
And I’ve learned much more about myself, too ““ that my love for writing has still remained strong. And I credit this realization to the shaping of my career and academic interests that I had so long searched for when I first entered UCLA.
So to all those that have given me the privilege of conversation: thank you. Thank you for helping make college a worthwhile journey, for helping me to transform to who I am now from a lost, confused teenager standing on top of Bruin Walk, snapping photos of a lovely autumn tree.
Yoo wrote for news in 2005 and has been a Viewpoint columnist since Winter 2006.