Part 1 An English student, I am forced to read
Inordinate amounts at blinding speed. As Superman flew ’round
the world to save Ms. Lane from harm and almost certain grave, I,
too, must circle, with my eyes, and gauge What happens line to
line, from page to page. One major class subjected me to Pope
(That’s Alexander, stretching far in scope) Last weekend, so
I spent my time within His Criticism essay and its twin, His essay
on Man’s kind, and hoped to find What caused the wheels to
churn inside his mind. He wrote in couplets, much like these you
see, Though Pope’s equal I don’t pretend to be. Iambic
lines of strict pentameter Formed future thoughts of his and also
hers. In three parts was the criticism writ, And over seven hundred
lines he fit Explaining what art’s worldly critics do And
what of it is false, and what is true. “But you who seek to
give and merit fame,” As Pope lays out his piece’s
formal aim, “And justly bear a critic’s noble name, Be
sure yourself and your own reach to know How far your genius, taste
and learning go; Launch not beyond your depth, but be discreet, And
mark that point where sense and dullness meet.” The
critic’s goal, to Pope, and now to me Is but to judge a piece
of art’s degree To which it does or doesn’t meet its
goal, And figure if the piece has any soul. With that, to you I now
present my guide With which reviews of film should all abide. For
two parts only, I apologize, As Pope, not I, was justly canonized,
Though still, I hope you will peruse my lines Of film review all
dressed up to the nines.
Part 2 In terms of idols, film has more than most, Though other
arts such claims may try to boast, Inviting critics to build up
their news With too much talk of Nicholson and Cruise. That’s
not to say the two good work do lack, But all good men must also
Mars attack. Though film should be compared to other works, A good
review is not one of the perks That stars from noble critics should
receive. That child’s system publicists conceive. Nor should
a critic to a studio Write good reviews despite all that he knows.
While Disney’s made cartoons two-score and four, Though some
are great, some others are a bore. And in live-action worlds made
for adults, Not every movie made yields good results. But people
know this; critics do alike, And so more often in their words do
strike Like Zeus, with thund’ring bolt in quite a fuss, Did
smite the pride of lost Iasius. But herein lies a problem just as
bad As if the critics only good words had, For when critiquing all
in front of them, They lose perspective, details small condemn, And
tend to think that all must be explained, Forgetting that some
movies entertain: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. For
what would “My Fair Lady” be if not Forgiven for small
holes inside its plot? The same stands for Monroe’s
“Some Like It Hot.” It’s Pope’s ideas that
still ring true and clear, Though when Pope wrote, one-seven marked
the year. As I write now, the year begins two-oh, And while I hope
new thoughts from my words grow, I don’t expect to hear them
or to see How present lines change future poetry. My only wish is
that people really Remember more of this than of
“Gigli.”
E-mail Tracer at jtracer@media.ucla.edu.