It’s the holiday season! And that means one thing for
students everywhere ““ papers and finals. The point is,
it’s the most miserable time of the year for us: As the rest
of society savors the magic in the air and spreads cheer to their
fellow neighbors, we’re stuck clawing for sleep hours as we
try to get up to speed in our classes.
There is one undeniable positive that comes out of all this: I
get to complain as much as I want without sounding like a whiner.
When everyone around is going through the “I’m so
behind” routine, you can get away with carping about other
stuff without anyone noticing. So I can’t pass up this
opportunity to let loose my five pet peeves in the music world:
1. Rolling Stone. All the fuss about their “Top 500 Songs
of All Time” list is silly. How can anyone claim any kind of
authority on the matter with a straight face? It’s a
ridiculous notion in and of itself, even without the added hubris
of ranking songs from 1 to 500. It’s like an inane VH1 list
on steroids. They’re also so in love with Eminem it’s
disgusting. They just ran a big shiny feature on him, coupled with
a head-scratching 4/5 rating of “Encore,” its highest
rating so far by a major publication. “Lose Yourself”
and “Stan” ranked in at 166 and 290, respectively, in
the Top 500 Songs list, ahead of The Clash’s “Train in
Vain,” Bob Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues
and Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power.” And when RS
ran its Top 500 Albums a year ago, all three Eminem albums made the
list.
2. Jack White. I like some of his songs. I think the new Loretta
Lynn album he worked on is pretty good too. And there was something
weirdly funny about listening to him talk about tesla coils in
“Coffee and Cigarettes.” So what’s my problem
with a guy who makes largely mediocre, inoffensive music?
It’s the hype. The White Stripes are the most overrated band
out there, head and shoulders above the likes of Interpol and Death
Cab for Cutie. I cannot remember the last time a record got as much
undeserved praise as “Elephant” did. Plus, the
man’s so pasty he makes Michael Jackson look black again. But
I do have him to thank for one of the funnier song titles of recent
years: Wayne Coyne’s “Thank you Jack White (For the
Fiber-Optic Jesus That You Gave Me).”
3. The Arcade Fire lyrics. I buy into the “Funeral”
hype; I dig it quite a bit. But is it just me, or do some of the
lyrics make you cringe? OK, maybe it’s just me.
4. Jin. This guy was my hero for a few weeks back in 2002. The
music industry’s treatment and presentation of Asians has
historically been pretty nauseating (think R. Kelly’s
“Thoia Thoing” and William Hung). So when Jin, a
Chinese American, won BET’s Freestyle Friday contest seven
weeks in a row and signed a deal with Ruff Ryders, there was a
glimmer of hope. It turns out he’s a below-average recording
artist who writes really painful hooks. The wait continues, but
I’m not holding my breath.
5. OutKast. They’re at work on a new album that’s
supposed to come out next year. Actually, I remember reading
reports it was coming out this year. That’s the problem. I
know this is just going to keep getting pushed back, and it’s
going to drive me nuts. Then when it gets leaked, I’m going
to go even more nuts restraining myself from downloading it.
The good news is winter break is just a few weeks away. In the
meantime, a very enthusiastic bah humbug to you all.
E-mail Lee at alee2@media.ucla.edu.