“˜Chick shows’ a breath of fresh air

I love the Oxygen Network.

I know, it’s an entire channel dedicated to women’s
programming, but I can’t get enough of it.

It doesn’t stop there. I live for Lifetime original
programing. Every Sunday night, I drop whatever I’m doing to
watch those “Desperate Housewives” over on Wisteria
Lane. If you put Shane (the butch hot girl from “The L
Word”), Tyra (creator and star of “America’s Next
Top Model”) and Oprah in a room with me, I’d probably
explode. No, I’d be way too excited to explode. I would
implode.

When it comes to television for women, I’m all over it.
And it’s all I watch lately. Go ahead, check my VCR. The
manliest thing you’ll find on my TV screen is “Xena:
Warrior Princess.”

But has all this mushy, gushy, Lilith Fair lesbian-lovin’
television made me less of a man? Shouldn’t the only
“fishy” thing about my television time be the Pro Bass
Fishing Network?

Yes. At least that’s what my friends keep telling me.

Most of us men grew up in a house where the only four-letter
word allowed to be uttered was ESPN. I hear it all the time: Guys
are supposed to like halftime reports and barbecues, and girls are
supposed to like cooking shows and makeovers.

But I really think that with all this special programming for
the sexes, men are really missing out on a lot of good stuff. And
it’s about time we started realizing why these “chick
shows” are totally worth skipping a baseball game or two
every now and again.

First off, females are funny. Who knew after generations of
hiding in men’s shadows that women were actually funny? But
have you seen that Ellen? Girlfriend can tell a joke like
nobody’s business. Sometimes I laugh so hard, I burn so many
calories that I don’t even need to go to the gym. If more men
watched “Ellen,” we wouldn’t need bench presses
anymore.

And speaking of lesbians, that brings me to my next point
““ these women shows can be super-sexy. I mean, have you seen
“The L Word?”

With a show like this, your sexual orientation doesn’t
matter. Not when each episode starts out with a steamy same-sex
love-fest, starring a cast that epitomizes today’s hippest
styles mixed with a touch of class.

Women might have been the object of many men’s desires
throughout time, but when they start being the object of each
other’s desire in shows like this, people start realizing
just how cool and powerful a bunch of dykes hanging out in the
middle of a gay-guy mecca like West Hollywood can really be.

But I think the most important reason that every guy should give
women’s programing a chance is because it’s so real. If
you’ve seen “Oprah After the Show,” you know just
what I mean. Oprah struts out on stage, kicks off her shoes and has
almost-candid conversations with her guests about issues women face
in their everyday lives. Real issues. Issues that I, as a guy,
can’t relate to at all.

And that’s what makes it so good. Since I can’t
relate to the topics they deal with on these shows, I don’t
have to think about my own life.

Abortion? Body image issues? Love? These are topics are as
foreign to me as great literature, rocket science and the dynamics
of international politics. It’s like a vacation for the male
mind.

Let’s be honest: We men are never going to understand
women. And there’s really no reason we should try to, because
if we do, we’ll only lose sight of the one thing that is
truly special about the division between the sexes: ignorance.

So the next time you’re channel-flipping and stumble
across Oprah discussing the hardships of motherhood or why
he’s “just not that into you,” give it a chance.
Because real men don’t just breathe oxygen; they watch it,
too.

E-mail Scott atjscott@media.ucla.edu.

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