At a recent family dinner, I was lamenting the challenge of
writing a weekly entertainment column.
“How about something on “˜Desperate
Housewives’?” my mother suggested.
“Maybe about how women love the show because it portrays
females in control over the men in their lives,” she added,
as my dad continued quietly eating his mashed potatoes.
“So do you find “˜Desperate Housewives’
empowering?” I asked.
“No, not personally.”
The conversation turned to other topics, but our brief exchange
left me thinking about the great success of
“Housewives” and how it reflects ““ and affects
““ contemporary culture.
There is no disputing the show’s popularity.
“Housewives” is an unstoppable force in the heated fall
TV ratings race, drawing on average some 28 million viewers per
week. The show has become such a phenomenon that even Laura Bush
has mentioned it publicly, describing herself as a “desperate
housewife” at the White House Correspondents’
Association Dinner last May. Here is a First Lady whose passive
style makes her the anti-Hillary; rather than leading national
health care reform, she appears on the Egyptian version of
“Sesame Street.” This is a woman whose position stems
largely from marrying into a wealthy and powerful family. She
doesn’t hold a Juris Doctor from Yale. She probably
doesn’t idolize Eleanor Roosevelt. But she’s a
“desperate housewife,” and darned ““ I could
really imagine her using the word “darned” ““
proud of it.
I don’t believe the first lady would have so confidently
asserted her domesticity before the show began.
I have also seen the effect of “Housewives” on the
women who take yoga classes weekday mornings in my hometown.
Besides the occasional retiree or college student home on break,
the room is dominated by shapely, attractive, well-kept women
““ in other words, the trophy wives. The beauty of these
Trophies is matched only by their timid shyness ““ typically,
they enter the studio, perform the stretches, do the heavy
breathing and venture back to their Mercedes and BMWs without
speaking a word to anyone else in the class. Eye contact seems an
anathema to them. Any attempt at conversation is met with a
stilted, nervous response. This meekness is displayed week after
week, seemingly an essential element of a trophy wife’s
nature. But one recent Tuesday, that all changed.
Walking toward the yoga studio, I observed a group of Trophies
congregating outside the entrance and ““ shockingly ““
talking animatedly to one another. The inspiration for this change
in behavior ““ the Pilates instructor who taught the class
before yoga was running late, delaying the start of our class.
Suddenly, the Trophies were mobilized, speaking with a passion and
assertiveness wholly absent from their normal disposition. In an
impressive display of activism, one of them announced she was
starting a petition against the mean, unapologetically late Pilates
teacher.
“This is simply ridiculous ““ it is our time!”
she exclaimed. It wasn’t quite storming the Bastille, but
there was an undeniable sense of empowerment in the air.
One can only speculate about the inner workings of a trophy
wife’s mind, but perhaps “Desperate Housewives”
has indeed made an impact, as my mom theorized. Suddenly, pampered
domesticity is not a source of shame, but something to be
celebrated, discussed, awarded Emmys. The Trophies can now be proud
of what they are and stand firm against any Pilates teacher who
gets in their way.
And what about myself? As a weekly viewer, has the show affected
me? My reflexive answer would be negative, but further thought
forces me to reconsider. Watching the show has revealed to me the
rather pleasant existence available to a housewife. The women of
Wisteria Lane have time for reading, yoga, humorous romantic
entanglements and investigations of suspicious neighbors. Sounds
like a pleasant life to me.
Perhaps law school isn’t the way to go after all. I think
I’m much more suited to be a desperate househusband. What
would I be missing out on? Wearing suits? Shaving each day? The
“thrill” of climbing the corporate ladder? I could do
without all of them. In fact, I’d prefer it. “Desperate
Housewives” has opened my eyes to a promising new career path
““ the Trophy Husband.
Want to make Kearns your trophy husband? E-mail him at
bkearns@media.ucla.edu.