Custodians reveal filthy secrets of UCLA campus
By Matt Sorokotyazh
To some people, nothing is more important than decent rest
rooms. Yet clean restrooms are often taken for granted and people
who maintain them are not given their due.
Those who clean public restrooms say they are seldom thanked or
known.
Yet UCLA’s formidable army of custodians numbers 230 and
maintains the campus’ 700 bathrooms.
They clean up after students  bathrooms, classrooms,
hallways, stairs, doors. They are paid $9 an hour for starters and
$10.48 an hour for veterans. And, whereas professors are experts on
student classroom behavior, custodians know all about student
bathroom secrets.
"A lot of (students) are very dirty," Johnny Henderson, UCLA
custodian, concluded without hesitation.
The worst kind of situations are "when (students) don’t flush
the john," added Mary Clark, a senior custodian and Henderson’s
partner.
Henderson echoed her complaint. "They use a urinal and won’t
flush it; they use a toilet and won’t flush it."
But even if caught, you don’t have to be alarmed. Henderson said
he never says anything about the proper use of the toilet.
Custodians bear a wealth of little-known facts about students
and the campus.
"Kinsey Hall was very dirty," Henderson said, "and probably
still is."
"They do number two in the sink, in the trash can," said
custodian Delores Smith, recollecting some of the more unorthodox
uses of public facilities.
"People are weird. What can I say?" Smith mused. "You gotta be
sick to do that," she added, insisting that weird is not strong
enough a term.
Some things really make you stop and wonder about a student’s
sanity, Smith continued, going over the list of things she found in
UCLA bathrooms over the years: "panties, pantyhose, shorts, briefs,
socks."
Smith said she has also heard about students having sex in
campus bathrooms. Men’s bathrooms are more likely to be used for
sex, she added.
Custodians have privileged access to some more interesting facts
and figures.
Women’s bathrooms are filthier, Clark remarked. And "(faculty)
will always flush."
UCLA bathrooms use about 90,000 roles of toilet paper a year,
approximated E.J. Kirby, facilities manager who is personally in
charge of a $9 million annual budget. "That’s a lot of butts
hitting the seats," Kirby remarked.
Unless they don’t do their jobs, custodians are rarely
appreciated.
"People complain but never thank," Kirby observed. "Custodians
are noticed only when they don’t do something."
Although some custodians said they like what they do, their jobs
are very demanding.
"There are 50,000 people on campus every day," Kirby noted, "but
you can’t clean when people are in the way. And people are in the
way 24 hours."
Despite these difficulties, "we do a great job and always try to
improve," Kirby said.
Kirby said he would not, of course, refuse any help. And, he
pointed out, a lot of what students do can’t be called help.
"Taking food and drinks to the class  that does not help,"
Kirby said. Neither does leaving "a half-eaten Hostess cupcake on
the stairs," he stressed.
Unlike students and some faculty, custodians regard UCLA their
permanent residence.
"We have pride in UCLA," Kirby confessed. "It is our home, and
we like to have a well-maintained home."