Everywhere you look people are crying and passing notes in
classes, saying, “We love the Lakers.”
They are crying tears of joy because they love the Lakers, and
thus it is clear that Lakers hysteria is sweeping UCLA.
The chatter is overwhelming. In Ackerman, at the Sculpture
Garden and in line at Puzzles, the same thing is on
everyone’s tongue: “Shaq and Kobe are the most dominant
duo ever to play in the NBA.”
Tonight the Laker Show looks to take a 3-2 lead in the best of
seven second-round series against San Antonio, a series that the
Lakers were counted out of after consecutive losses to the
Spurs.
But on Tuesday, the day the Lakers tied the series, the
aforementioned hysteria reached a boiling point.
As I walked around campus that day, all I heard were people
talking about the Lakers. At approximately 1:45 p.m., I saw a group
of young fellows near Haines Hall having what I presumed to be an
erudite discussion. (Note: read that sentence out loud with the
accent of a British guy from the 19th century who is holding a cup
of tea in his hand.)
Walking by the lads, I could only discern two words rolling off
the tongue of one fellow: “Devean George.” (Oh, use a
British accent for that sentence, too. It just sounds better that
way.)
To the dudes who were standing near Haines on Tuesday ““ if
you are reading this, let me know what you were saying about
Devean. I hope you were praising his acrobatic jumping
abilities.
As I watched game four from my apartment Tuesday night, a
curious thing caught my attention. Every time Kobe made a
spectacular play, a muffled roar could be heard in the distance. My
curiosity piqued, I opened the door to my patio, allowing the cool
night to waft in.
Then, on Kobe’s next slammer-jammer I heard the roar
clearly ““ it was coming from other Lakers fans on the block
who were cheering on their favorite team and player.
I was overwhelmed and as you can imagine, quite moved.
And today, with game five only hours away, the campus is once
again abuzz.
I have thought of some ways in which Lakers hysteria can help
you out. For example, try using deft (at first I wrote
“daft” and I looked it up to see if that was the right
word, and it wasn’t) Lakers wordplay in the act of
courtship.
While in line at Taco Bell, try saying to the girl or guy of
your dreams who is ordering the chalupa supreme: “My my my,
you should know that like the Lakers triangle offense, which must
run through Shaq to be successful, you have been running through my
mind all day. So why don’t we shack up?”
This chalupa-ordering vixen will no doubt be impressed with your
ability to imaginatively use the word “shack” after
speaking about Shaq and the Lakers. Things will heat up.
While there are probably some UCLA students who have hopped on
the Lakers’ bandwagon, for most fans, their love, no, their
obsession, started young.
“I think it was 1988. The Lakers were in the
championship,” junior Matt Susnow said. “I can’t
remember who they were playing. They lost. Ilana, my older sister,
was in tears. Magic missed the shot at the buzzer. It was
Kareem’s last year I think. They’ve been in my heart
ever since.”
For Susnow, Lakers hysteria is an overwhelming experience of
joy, but apparently this hysteria is nothing compared to the frenzy
that is generated in our state’s capital, by Sacramento Kings
fans.
I asked Northern Californian Nick Martin for his take on the
situation. When asked how the Lakers hysteria compared to that of
the Kings, the Santa Rosa native replied, “Not nearly as
big.”
When asked why this was the case, Martin gave me a terse
reply.
“Because the only thing in Sacramento is the Kings. L.A.
has other things to do.”
With that, Martin was off to do some laundry, leaving me with
the following dilemma. Should I end the column by making fun of
Sacramento? It’s so easy, and people love to read about
cowbells and cow towns.
But it’s lazy writing, and besides, Laker fans are better
than that.
Miller will be watching tonight’s game at an
establishment in the Village. Try to find him! E-mail him at
dmiller@media.ucla.edu.