For this week, I’d like to tackle a question that’s
often on my mind regarding dating: Does size really matter?
Stop, I know what you’re thinking. Get your mind out of
the gutter. I’m talking about a person’s height ““
not the length of a certain body part.
We all know the stereotype. The man in a heterosexual
relationship is supposed to be taller than his female counterpart
so that he can provide protection by appearing stronger and can
prove his usefulness by reaching items on a top shelf for women who
are helpless without a man to retrieve them for her. The height
makes for a good dancing or kissing partner. Plus “it just
looks right,” society argues.
 But does it really look wrong the other way around?
We’ve all heard tall girls whine about how it’s so
tough to find datable guys because many are shorter than them. Many
swear it would be too much of a blow to the wardrobe to neglect
their beloved heels or platforms in favor of maintaining inferior
height to their significant other.
You don’t even have to be tall to sweat the height factor.
I’m all of 5 feet, 4 inches, and I’ve still managed to
date one guy who reaches 5 feet, 2 inches, and another who barely
hit the 5 foot, 4.5 inch-mark. Even then, with my hair up in a
ponytail or a bun, it was questionable as to who was taller.
I too was guilty of searching out flat dress shoes and shelving
my platforms in order to accompany my boyfriend’s short
stature without towering over him.
I sometimes slouched in pictures, joked about me being taller
than him, and missed tall shoes. And I don’t even enjoy
wearing heels.
Semi-awkwardness aside, the height closeness really didn’t
matter, nor should it. But regardless of whether height should play
into how a guy measures up as boyfriend material, we all know that
it does.
To attest to the scarcity of girls dating guys shorter than
them, it took me two weeks to find examples of those who broke the
stereotype.
I’ve finally found two couples who break the mold ““
and are proud of it.
Firstly, there’s fourth-year psychology student Katie Yang
who, at 5 feet, 11 inches, stands by her choice to date her
boyfriend who is approximately 5 feet, 9 inches.
Though Yang says she “used to never even look at someone
shorter,” she currently has no problem with the discrepancy.
Yang said the two of them crack jokes about the height difference,
but he doesn’t care. “He told me he likes taller
girls,” she said.
Yang says she doesn’t notice the height difference so much
because he’s more muscular. Even if the height reversal
breaks stereotypes, the social norm of the man as protector is
still apparent in Yang’s assessment of her tastes.
“I can’t be with a tiny guy,” she said.
So is it a big deal then, when the girl is medium height and the
guy isn’t quite?
According to second-year art history student Andrea Lounibos,
height doesn’t matter when you’re 5 feet, 5 inches, and
dating a guy who’s three inches shorter.
“I definitely would have pictured myself with someone
taller than me because it’s such a stereotype. Since
I’m not that tall I don’t meet many guys who are
shorter than me,” Lounibos said.
“I was really conscious of it, I tried to wear lower
heels, but I’m taller than him without shoes, so eventually
it didn’t matter, I just went ahead and wore heels,”
Lounibos said, commenting on the relationship’s minimal
effect on her footwear choice.
And while height really doesn’t matter when measuring a
partner’s qualities, if you feel uncomfortable with the
person because of it, or are not attracted to someone on basis of
height, I can’t force you to overlook that.
Instead, I urge you to let the ruler be and throw away the rules
on who’s supposed to be taller than whom. Short guys: Stand
short and stand proud, but never let height stand in the way of
being comfortable approaching or dating taller girls. And girls:
Give the heels a rest and let go of height reservations. Humans are
not rollercoasters with height requirements.Â
After all, height really doesn’t matter when you’re
lying down.
Bonos is the 2003-2004 copy chief. She’s afraid of
scary movies, but go ahead and e-mail her your horror stories at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu.