The lyrics of the “Grease” masterpiece “Summer
Nights” could be called a pop cultural anthem for summer
love. And many of us have them memorized.
You may have even been in a group performance of the number,
singing it at camp or in a school talent show, a karaoke contest or
your cousin’s bar mitzvah. And once you get going, the tune
is so infectious it usually sticks around in your head for at least
twice the length of the actual song.
So then, in the middle of these warm summer nights, can romance
that happens so fast really be as carefree as John Travolta and
Olivia Newton-John play it off to be?
Well, that all depends. “Like, does he have a
car?”
You really can have a blast and be the envy of all your friends,
telling them you “made out under the dock” and
“stayed out ’til 10 o’clock.”
The key is to embrace a relationship’s expiration date
instead of lamenting it. If you only have four to six weeks to be
together, stop counting days and concentrate on counting the fun
times.
While it can be disheartening to realize that the milk in your
fridge might have a longer shelf life than your blissful summer
fling, there are some benefits to brevity as well.
“Tell me more,” you say? Well, it goes like this:
Boy meets girl at the beach, at the bar, at the gym or, yes, even
in a summer school class.
Your new friend seems perfect. So you go out on a date and
discover your potential lover is just in town for a few weeks, or
you’re only co-counselors at camp for one session, or the
family vacation ends on Friday.
Studying abroad this summer? Then there’s your chance
““ nothing’s sexier than a foreign accent. Not studying
abroad? Find a foreign hottie and study him or her.
What do you do if one or both of you are bummed about your
impending separation? Decide to put your potential on ice because
you don’t want to get too attached?
Wrong answer.
Live in the moment and have as much fun as you can without
stressing the end too much. Summer flings hardly ever amount to
long-term relationships, but that doesn’t mean you should
resist getting to know someone who’s interested simply
because “there isn’t time.”
Don’t dwell on your expiration date too much ““
it’s harder to live in the moment when someone constantly
brings up a future parting date. And besides, if you’ve ever
been to sleep-away camp or have lived vicariously through the
counselors in “Wet, Hot American Summer,” you know a
lot can happen in a single summer day.
All relationships end eventually, and being in one where both
parties know it will be short-term eliminates the uneasy
probationary period that comes with most relationships. You
don’t have to worry about being dumped and there’s less
of a chance that you’ll feel suffocated if you know
you’ll be single in a few weeks.
If things aren’t going well but you only have two more
days until one of you departs for home or vacation, it’s
possible to ditch the break-up talk in favor of a “see you
later” hug and kiss on the cheek.
Just remember: A summer fling should be fun. It should be easy
to hum and have a catchy tune. If yours doesn’t,
there’s no sense in having a summer flunk instead of a
fling.
And the nice thing about summer lovin’ is that you
don’t really have to be able to sing like Travolta and
Newton-John to get your friends to coo, “Tell me more, tell
me more, did you get very far?”
All you have to do is embody summer’s carefree, sunny
attitude and enjoy a low-key quasi-relationship without the
possible stress of jealousy, anniversaries (unless you’re
counting weeks, in which case you’re just sad) or meeting the
parents or the exes.
The first few weeks of a relationship are the most exciting
anyway, and they’re even better when they involve frequent
trips to the beach, movie marathon sessions, midnight walks,
barbeques and pool parties, and impromptu adventures just
“˜cause you have the time and don’t have the
homework.
Whether you’re at home this summer or living in Westwood,
most likely fewer of your friends are around than during the school
year, so it’s a great time to make a new one.
And, with the lack of seasons in Los Angeles, if you don’t
find someone now, you can always have a belated summer fling in
December, February or March.
Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor. Tell her more about
your summer romance by e-mailing her at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu.