It’s been one week since President Barack Obama took office, and the giddy jubilation that permeated the below-freezing wind in Washington, D.C., has slowed down a bit. Our new sheriff in town has been crackin’ down on Gitmo and bucklin’ down on lobbyists, but last week, he got down. On the dance floor that is!
I’ve seen countless interviews with elderly black people who said point-blank that they’d never thought they’d live to see the day that a black man was elected president.
Well, you did ““ so let’s party!
The celebrations may be long over, but I’m the type of girl who tends to stay at the party a little too long. So going along with that, I thought it’d be fun to revisit the events of the inauguration by doing a sort of “Best Inauguration Ever”-style rundown. Because governing all professional-like is boring ““ let’s recap the fashion!
I watched the inauguration coverage on MSNBC because I have a nonsexual girl crush on Rachel Maddow (she’s just got that sparkle in her eye and such a sassy haircut). But as far as the most hilarious/obnoxious commentary, little did I know how much puzzled amusement commentator Chris Matthews would bring into the mix.
He has a reputation for being a brash loudmouth, which I suppose is more of a requirement for cable news pundits than an exception, so I was expecting to be a little annoyed. But his bizarre, off-topic, incessant chatter was more appropriate for a “Saturday Night Live” spoof of “Live with Regis and Kelly” than historic television coverage.
As Slate magazine reported, Matthews’ commentary included an anecdote about seeing Chief Justice John Roberts’ wife getting shoes repaired at a “cobbler,” giving Val Kilmer a ride home and how John Cusack told him that he’d always wanted to meet him (he also met Robert DeNiro).
I attribute this to Matthews’ excitement over the departure of former President George W. Bush plus several straight hours of feverish commentating, creating deadly yet memorable and hilarious dialogue gems.
As far as fashion, the inauguration was out of this world. Aretha Franklin’s hat with a bow the size of a New York steak was pretty outrageous, but I totally get it. She just wanted to present herself as a charming gift for Obama to unwrap, like an extra little piece of installation art, on her head. “Surprise!” the hat says. “It’s me, Aretha!”
But that wasn’t the only hat to make a statement at the ceremony. Former President George H.W. Bush wore a massive furry hat a la Imperial Russia. And guess who was his matching fashion twinsie? Jay-Z, of course! I think they totally planned that together the night before at their “Pre-Inaug Sleepover” after they painted each others’ toenails and talked about boys.
I approve of all of Jay-Z’s fashion choices, including his new accessory Beyonce, but the real winner on the fashion front was Sen. Ted Kennedy in what Matthews called “a Don Corleone fedora.”
He went so far as to say that Kennedy, who is suffering from major health problems, was going to be responsible for an upsurge in hat popularity. If I trust anyone’s opinions regarding fashion trends, it’s Matthews, who can’t even refrain from pundit-izing hats.
The oratory was also inspiring. Everyone was going crazy for the Rev. Joseph Lowery’s charming inaugural benediction with his adorable little racial rhymes. But I got far more amusement from Pastor Rick Warren.
Despite the controversy of his selection to give the invocation, everyone can agree on the hilarity of his vocal inflection. In the best-spoken line, he said, “We now commit our new president and his wife, Michelle, and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, into your loving care.”
But the way he pronounced “Malia! and Sasha!” was accentuated with a dramatic flair that should have been paired with jazz hands and a “Chicago” bob. Who knew Warren drew so much divine inspiration from flamboyant Broadway musicals?
The inauguration also didn’t lack in the music department. There may have been some high rollers playing at the special Youth Inaugural Ball, but as sweet as Kid Rock is these days, nothing can compare to the regal beauty of “Air and Simple Gifts” that played at the ceremony. Itzhak Perlman sure can righteously shred on that violin of his.
The only thing that could have made these inauguration festivities better would have been if Vice President Joe Biden’s granddaughter snuck off to shoot pool at a biker joint like in the Disney Channel Original Movie “My Date With the President’s Daughter.”
I think we’ll have to wait until Malia enters her rebellious teen years for anything like this to happen, but wacky mall chase scenes and punking Secret Service agents is something to look forward to.
But alas, the balls are over, Yo-Yo Ma has packed up his cello, and Obama’s bulletproof limo has turned back into a pumpkin.
If you are also surprised that people still go to cobblers, then e-mail McReynolds at dmcreynolds@media.ucla.edu.