We’re all strapped for cash in this dismal economy. That’s why I’m going to start my own business: I’m going to start selling stuff on eBay.
Me and everybody else, right? Wrong.
I’m coming from a new angle: My friends and I are going to pose as celebrity-types and take paparazzi-style photographs of each other at L.A. hot spots and put those images into tabloid layouts. Then we post those photos along with the item on eBay, and watch the cash roll in. It’s brilliant, I know. We’re hoping to make a ridiculous profit off of our thrifted garments by labeling them “VINTAGE,” “DE$IGNER,” and “As Seen On Celeb Starlet!” I have an expansive collection of giant sunglasses so this plan is totally going to work.
My marketing muse for this project is Fraser Ross, the owner of the Robertson Boulevard boutique Kitson. Allegedly, he calls the paparazzi when celebrities shop at his store so that when the photos are sold to tabloids, people will see how popular his boutique is and will want to shop there.
Fraser told USA Today, “Everyone’s a paparazzi now ““ they’re fixtures. Normal day events like shopping have become celebrity events, and Robertson has become like a fashion runway. Capturing a picture of a celebrity on this street is the new way of winning the lottery.”
So naturally, my friends and I will be taking pictures on Robertson, as well as anywhere with hip-sounding drinks and dim lighting.
The impact of a celebrity endorsement is absolutely irrational, and I have witnessed first-hand its selling power. When I worked at a Nordstrom Trend Show, which informs customers about designer clothes and gives them facts that will impress their materialistic and elitist friends, the power of name-dropping Oprah was shocking. As soon as a certain brand of denim was said to be on Oprah’s “Favorite Things” list, women became frenzied and one interrupted the announcer to find out where they could find them. If Oprah starred in Super Bowl commercials, the number of viewers ages 27-55 who enjoy reading and sharing their feelings would skyrocket.
As lovely as it would be to be able to advertise during the Super Bowl, you have to work with what you have. Oprah has a TV show, a magazine and a generalized media empire. I have Thank You Mart (better known as the $3.99 store), Jet Rag and an ethernet cable. Everything will start at $50 and seem like a steal. We’re not going to be selling Forever 21 items; these are going to be quality, well-made garments that are technically used and worth less than $5. However, the profit will be about 30 times more than what it was sold for at the thrift store price.
This business operation is as legitimate as selling celebrity autographs. On some sites, signed baseballs run up to $5,200, turning a $3 item into a small fortune. Whether or not someone famous actually signed a baseball or a poster is beside the point. Real or forged, people love signed memorabilia. Just ask OJ.
While some of you may be thinking, “Her little eBay shenanigan is never going to work,” the statistics prove otherwise.
In an interview with the New York Times, Wagner A. Kamakura, an associate professor at the Joseph M. Katz Graduate School of Business at the University of Pittsburgh, said, “The consensus is that yes, (celebrity endorsements) usually lead to some impact on the brand being endorsed, because of the transfer of imagery from celebrity to ad and from ad to brand. And there is anecdotal evidence they lead to increasing sales.”
Basically, if the phrase “It-girl item!!” is in the description, tweens through 20-somethings living in one-stoplight towns in Middle America will scramble to get their bids in.
Dishonest? Perhaps. But during this time of economic recession you have two choices: get rich or die trying. With my little eBay scheme, I’m reasonably certain I’ll be doing the former.
If you’d like the link to her eBay account, e-mail Jagerman at njagerman@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.