“Married to Riana Cayabyab.” That’s what my Facebook page used to say under “Relationship Status.” I was never actually married to my best friend Riana, but false relationship statuses are common in the Facebook world. Many of us are “In an Open Relationship,” “Engaged” or even “Married” to one of our friends on Facebook. And whether we like it or not, our Facebook relationship status says a lot about us.
One day Riana called me and told me her boyfriend was upset that they were not “In a Relationship” on Facebook. She had given in and was going to replace me and cyber-solidify him as her significant other. She told me she wanted to give me a heads up because when she edited the relationship my status would change from “Married to Riana” to just “Married,” which would be weird.
It was then I realized how intense the issue of being FBO ““ Facebook Official ““ really is.
When Facebook changed to its revised look, many of the features to which Facebook users were accustomed looked different. As a testament to its holiness, however, the relationship status remained on everyone’s main page, right by their profile pictures and their networks ““ front and center, baby.
The pesky relationship status can lead to a slew of problems. When do you become FBO? Does asking to be FBO look desperate? What if the other person doesn’t want to be FBO?
Then there’s the breakup issue. Do you take it off right away? What if you get back together and look like that couple that fights and breaks up 20 thousand times? Do you let the person you broke up with take it off first so he or she can retain at least a little dignity?
In addition, both the initiation and ending of an FBO-relationship gets leaked into the all-knowing news feed, resulting in numerous annoying and awkward comments ranging from “Aw, you guys are so cute!” to “Aw, are you OK?” depending on the situation.
As if we haven’t turned college dating standards upside down enough already. (For example, the hook up often comes before the date.) Now we have added a whole new base: 1st, 2nd, 3rd, all the way, FBO.
The FBO-dilemna has now replaced “We’re together, but we’re not together” with “We’re together, but we’re not FBO.” “The talk” used to be about whether or not you could call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Now it’s about whether or not you should be FBO.
In all honesty though ““ let’s be real ““ it’s basically an indicator of whether or not you are in a serious relationship. If a guy or girl isn’t down to be FBO, it means he or she doesn’t want the whole world to know about your relationship.
Some people say they don’t look at a person’s relationship status. Don’t lie. We all check out people of interest’s relationship status on F-book as soon as they accept our friend request. Gilbert Sotelo, a second-year psychology student, said it’s an easy way to see if girls he is interested in are available. But these relationship statuses can be deceiving. Consider the options I was left with after Riana’s phone call.
I could change my status to single; however, this can sometimes be construed as overtly looking for a potential mate. Or, I could have found another friend to be “in a relationship” with ““ this says you have friends, but leaves the question of your availability up in the air. Riana was in a real relationship while in a Facebook one with me for quite some time. Of course, I could have left it blank ““ this creates complete mystery. It is also a solution when one is in an ambiguous or in-between sort of relationship, so it could suggest you are too complicated to get involved with.
Myca Tran, a third-year international development studies student, said she is in a Facebook relationship with her friend to avoid people automatically making assumptions about her love life. She said it doesn’t need to be the first thing people know about a person.
Sotelo said girls being in Facebook relationships with friends can be helpful. “You know who you can get help from,” he said.
Despite the many possibilities and confusions, the most seasoned Facebook stalkers are able to get a handle on anyone’s real relationship status via wall-to-wall and photo evidence. But what you decide to put on the page still sets a first impression.
I have yet to make my next move in regard to my FBO-status. Just recently I became friends with a guy ““ in real life and on Facebook ““ and he immediately asked me why I didn’t have a relationship status on Facebook. When I asked why it mattered he replied, “You can only go so far in a friendship sans sexual possibilities.”
Perhaps he should spend less time worrying about relationship statuses and more time working on better pick-up lines. I, for one, will continue to consider my options for my relationship status.
If you want to be FBO with Bricklin, e-mail her at abricklin@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.