Audrey at the Hammer makes a visitor wish they stayed confined to the galleries of the museum.

Located near the Hammer Museum’s Lindbrook entrance, Audrey, which opened Feb. 26, serves hallmark diner fare that could be found at Denny’s. The restaurant also provides some European dishes that don’t belong on its menu and overall fails in its delivery to be a contemporary Californian establishment that matches its price tag.

The restaurant’s tawdry mix and match of style is first reflected in its interior design. While the immense windows occupying an entire wall give Audrey a refreshing and a la mode feel, the sensation is immediately dissipated by the tacky green couches lining the opposing wall.

To the right of the entrance, one encounters a poorly lit bar. However, Audrey momentarily redeems itself with the drinks offered at around $15 each – average price for a cocktail. Dear Rosemary is a surprisingly refreshing drink made from vodka, soto sake, pear brandy and rosemary. The taste of alcohol in the drink is barely noticeable to the causal shot-taker.

Sage Advice, made from rye, lime, rhubarb bitters and sage, tastes stronger and has a delightfully bitter aftertaste. Both beverages are served with a branch of their corresponding herbs dropped into the drink. The exquisite drinks, unlike the dishes, were up to par with the au courant feeling the Audrey attempts to induce. They are a refreshing interlude between ordering and attempting to enjoy the poorly presented entree.

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Again the unfortunate push and pull between diner and contemporaneity is reflected in the food’s inconsistent presentation. While the white bean hummus was elegantly presented on a wooden board, the citrus salad and grains bowl were served in plain white bowls. For a restaurant that goes out of its way to appear contemporary and classy, the presentation of some of the actual entrees was underwhelming.

The appetizers range in price from $6 for the spiced nuts to $22 for the Iberian ham. The white bean hummus was one of the more reasonably valued menu items at $10, with the quality surprisingly matching its price. The rich spread was served with perfectly charred slices of toast lightly drizzled with olive oil. However, it was not accompanied by enough bread to fully enjoy the appetizer.

The grains bowl, however, was rather unremarkable. With too much black rice decorated by three mushrooms, half an egg and part of an avocado, the dish conditions one’s taste buds to longingly crave richness it can never fully bite into. The majority of the dish simply is rice in a lemon vinaigrette, with not enough toppings to balance out the dish.

The citrus salad followed suit in its inability to impress. While the the combination of radish, orange slices and pecans led to a melange of flavors, Whole Foods probably sells a comparable salad at a lower price.

The rest of the menu is a hodgepodge of diner classics such as grilled cheese, spaghetti and lamb meatball sandwich. The lack of originality in the majority of the menu items makes one blink twice in surprise when reading dishes such as SunFed ranch burger or miso glazed eggplant sandwich. These mod-sounding dishes stick out like a sore thumb in the midst of classic American cuisine.

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The dessert menu is again an assortment of items without a clear unifying theme. But the majority of the menu still looked appetizing and seemed distinct to Audrey compared to the typical restaurants in Westwood. The desserts are about $9 each, with the exception of the selection of dessert cheeses at $14.

The bittersweet chocolate torta, $9 for a small slice, is served with creme fraiche and pistachios. The lightness of the creme fraiche beautifully balanced the richness of the chocolate torta itself. However, not much can be said about the pistachios’ contribution to flavor as there were only a measly four of them. The price tag on the dessert is to be expected at a museum restaurant, but the torta was one of the more enjoyable culinary avenues.

The richness of the dessert left a tough act to follow for the concluding latte. The mediocrity of the latte, available with normal or almond milk, is not mirrored by its cost. The Earl Grey tea, however, comes in a large glass teapot that can fill about 2 1/2 cups of tea. The stylish beverage selection paired with the dessert menu leaves one wondering why the restaurant owner did not just stop there, instead of adding overpriced, unimpressionable food.

Overall, Audrey fails to break from the restaurant-in-a-museum stereotype. Students are better off walking five minutes into Westwood and buying a sandwich for $8 than paying a double- or triple-digit figure for a meal to sit in what is essentially an Ikea cafeteria.

Published by Tabatha Lewis-Simó

Lewis is an Opinion columnist and News contributor.

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1 Comment

  1. This has to be a joke review…

    Audrey should literally sue you for libel for publishing this nonsense.

    It’s difficult to know where to begin here, as it’s all so blatantly false. It’s clear that the reviewer did not even go to dinner nor bother to visit the restaurant multiple times.

    If the reviewer’s idea of a “great restaurant” is “Denny’s” they have less than zero credibility and should not be writing about food in any capacity whatsoever.

    There has never been anything remotely similar to a carte di musica, or a heritage pork chop on a Denny’s menu anywhere in the world.

    Audrey is ASSUREDLY not meant to compete with $8 craptastic UCLA cafeteria food, but there is no reason to have a blathering alcoholic who considers such cheap, borderline inedible cafeteria fare as the apotheosis of food write a libelous review of an excellent restaurant.

    This is utterly shameful.

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