If Columbus “discovered” America today, he might
have been awarded an “Ig Nobel Prize.”
The 12th annual Ig Nobels were awarded earlier this month for
scientific achievements that “cannot or should not be
reproduced,” a spoof of the real Nobel prizes, which were
awarded the following week.
Today is “Columbus Day (Observed)” (calendars tell
us), and if anything, this allows Americans to ponder whether
Columbus deserves a day at all. For one thing, he didn’t
invent the idea the world was round (Eratosthenes even measured its
circumference in the B.C. era). Mounting evidence suggests that
others from Europe and Asia visited the Americas before him and
left their own minor influences behind.
Beyond the day itself, Columbus lends his name to various other
unfavorable entities. Columbia is a country known for its illegal
drug production whereas the District of Columbia is known for its
illegal drug usage. To top it off (this is Arts & Entertainment
after all), director Chris Columbus made a bland “Harry
Potter” movie and those annoying “Home Alone”
movies.
Columbus also became the subject of movies 10 years ago, the
500th anniversary of his landing in San Salvador. “1492:
Conquest of Paradise” starred Gérard Depardieu as
Columbus and featured director Ridley Scott’s chronic
hero-making. “Christopher Columbus: The Discovery” had
Tom Selleck as King Ferdinand and “Godfather” author
Mario Puzo as the film’s writer. Both films failed miserably
at the box office despite the pedigree.
There seems to be little point in celebrating the federal
holiday, which people in Berkeley lovingly have renamed
“Indigenous Peoples’ Day.” The day only caters to
elementary schools, where students diligently recite,
“Columbus sailed the ocean blue in fourteen-hundred and
ninety-two.”
While Columbus’ achievements are dubious and hostile in
retrospect, the guy did impact the collective consciousness. After
his trip, the world expanded and people’s ideas expanded
along with it.
Science may claim Columbus as its crony, but I find he fits
nicely into the arts, where mind expansion is no less important.
After “The Matrix” came out (cheesy action movie though
it was), it seemed to be the simile of choice for its year. People
were able to think of reality as an illusion, an abstract idea
known to give students reading Plato headaches.
Besides awakening new perspectives, art is often created with
Columbus’ go-do-it mentality. He proved the world’s
roundness by sailing on this round world, putting his sea legs
where his mouth was.
Likewise, artists are great for taking risks. “American
Beauty” was a scathing look at the contemporary United
States, yet Alan Ball, who lives in the United States, decided to
write the movie in spite of its lack of “marketability”
or political correctness. Michael Moore’s new documentary,
“Bowling for Columbine,” about American gun usage, has
the intrepid filmmaker diving his liberal self into conservative
strongholds, because finding the truth (the Indies) means sticking
his neck out (setting sail).
In fact, art is difficult to respond to unless there is danger
present. The “American Idol” TV show finale was
enthralling, and coming from an anti-TV person, that’s saying
something. You’d watch the show wondering, “Can they
really create an American idol? If not, will the whole affair crash
and burn into a spectacular ego-crushing bomb?”
Columbus’ attitude extends to art lovers as well. If
you’re not sure you’d like some movie, CD or book, you
can listen to all the buzz and read all the reviews you want, but
there’s really only one way to find out. If Columbus could
put his life on the line to prove his hunch, the least you could do
is watch a movie, read a book, or listen to a CD before you bash it
or praise it. I find sometimes people who love their hard rock can
also find a quiet place for opera or big band jazz.
Fear not, because those backwaters of the arts are waiting for
you explorers to set sail into the horizon and revel in them. Like
Columbus, you won’t be the first one, but unlike Columbus,
history will treat you kindly.