Bonds’ hot hitting will tromp Halo pitching

The World Series is barely two games old, and I can
unequivocally say that the Stat Geek has a better chance of getting
Barry Bonds out than any member of the Angels pitching staff.

Unless the Halos are secretly planning to start my
flame-throwing colleague in Games 3 and 4, the Giants will win
their first championship since moving to San Francisco nearly five
decades ago.

Bonds’ history of playoff failures has been
well-documented. Prior to this year, he had hit just .196 during a
decade-long postseason slump in which he never made it out of the
first round of the playoffs.

Nonetheless, the 38-year-old slugger has had a breakthrough in
2002. He is hitting .303 in the playoffs, and has had a number of
crucial hits, including a second-inning homer in Game 1 of the
World Series that gave the Giants a lead they would never
relinquish.

But the shot which left the primate-toting misfits at Edison
Field dizzy was the 485-foot sonic boom that Bonds unleashed off of
Troy Percival in the ninth inning on Sunday.

The blast, which reportedly ricocheted off the moon earlier this
morning, left a gawking Tim Salmon mouthing: “That’s
the longest ball I have ever seen hit here,” as the Fox
cameras panned to the Angels dugout.

It is hard to imagine losing a World Series game in a more
intimidating fashion. You have to believe that Bonds’ home
run will be embedded in Percival’s memory the next time the
two face off against one another.

As much as Bonds’ power surge has been in the spotlight
over the last two years, it is his patience which has fueled his
recent exploits. He has already walked 18 times in the postseason,
and swings at a pitch outside the strike zone about as frequently
as Fox’s Steve Lyons alludes to Charles Dickens during
interviews.

Bonds and the Giants head to monkey-free Pac Bell Park for three
games this week with the opportunity to take control of the series.
On the mound for the Angels will be an up-and-down Ramon Ortiz and
rookie John Lackey, who had to pitch two innings of relief on
Sunday night.

Unless either Ortiz or Lackey turns in an unexpectedly brilliant
performance, it is likely that an overworked Angels bullpen will
have to carry the load.

That means the android-like Ben Weber will have to hold off the
Giants’ bats until the late innings when the electric
Francisco Rodriguez and the all-star Percival can enter the game
““ a scenario that cannot make Disney’s army of red
balloon waving lemmings feel confident.

With J.T. Snow, Reggie Sanders and Kenny Lofton heating up, the
Giants should have more than enough firepower to make the Angels
pay dearly for pitching around Bonds. Snow in particular has
shredded Anaheim pitching, going 3 for 7 with a home run and four
RBIs against his former team.

Sure the national media will be disappointed that the
“Cinderella” Angels have turned back into pumpkins, but
that is how good Bonds and company are playing right now.

Who needs a rally monkey when you’ve got King Kong himself
playing left field?

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