When your roommates are loud and don’t give you space,
when they borrow your stuff without asking, and you can’t
communicate, who are you going to call? The roommate doctors.
Most students have not heard of the roommate doctors, even those
who have been to The Center for Women and Men ““ where the
doctors are located.
The doctors were created by The Center because the staff
recognized many of the students coming in for counseling needed
advice that focused on roommate issues.
“For a lot of students, living away from home … is an
adjustment,” said Tina Oakland, director of The Center for
Women and Men and one of several roommate doctors.
On a typical day, patients will either come to The Center for
assistance by appointment or drop in without an appointment.
Oakland, who has been involved with The Center for 30 years,
describes the problems she helps students with daily as being
complex and unique to each individual.
Over 400 students were aided by the doctors last year, and
Oakland said she expects an even larger amount this year.
“The work that I was doing (before being a roommate
doctor) had a common denominator ““ that was aiding
students,” Oakland said, describing her initial interest with
student counseling.
As a roommate doctor she continues along these lines.
“Working with the students directly is my favorite
part,” she said.
The staff at The Center is well equipped to aid students with
their problems.
Each roommate doctor has at least a masters degree in
counseling, and there are a few clinical psychologists in the
group, Oakland said.
“All of the staff here are extremely committed to
supporting the students,” she said.
Oakland said the team is available to guide students through
their problems, rather than giving them answers.
The doctors and The Center are meant to equip students with the
tools to lead a happy, healthy life with their roommates, she
said.
The doctors also work closely with other facilities, such as
Student Legal Services.
“One of the most common problems is when one roommate is
leaving, (and they need to figure out) who’s responsible for
taking their place and paying their rent,” said Elizabeth
Kemper, director of SLS.
This is one of the main reasons roommate doctors refer patients
to SLS.
Students go to the roommate doctors for a variety of other
reasons as well.
Many students have difficulties setting boundaries with their
roommates because they lack the confidence to be assertive, Oakland
said.
A mild problem like this can set off violent outbursts when
students try to avoid confrontation with their roommate, she
said.
Some students also come in because they are worried about signs
of their roommates having substance abuse habits or an eating
disorder.
Oakland also cites lack of communication as one of the major
hurdles in roommate relationships.
“I had a lot of expectations and fears about having a
roommate because I was afraid that she would judge me,” said
Emily Rolph, third- year ethnomusicology and anthropology
student.
Once Rolph and her roommate sat down and talked about their
initial fears, their relationship bloomed, she said.
A wide variety of students visit roommate doctors, but
off-campus students make up the largest percentage of patients.
Oakland attributes this to the fact that students who live on
campus have a well developed support network with their resident
assistants. Those living in apartments don’t have access to
this service.
One tip Oakland stresses is not bringing up problems during
periods of high emotion, such as right after an argument.
The roommate doctors are available on Mondays from 2 to 4 p.m.,
but drop-ins and non-roommate oriented problems are welcome at The
Center at any time. For more information, call (310)825-3945.