There’s a lot to worry about when it comes to the month of March.
There’s the saying that it “comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb,” a tidy aphorism about the changing of seasons and wardrobes. We’ve also got to beware the Ides of March, the legendarily creepy anniversary of the assassination of Julius Caesar. Today also happens to be St. Patrick’s Day, and the NCAA basketball tournament is in full swing, rendering the phenomenon of “March Madness,” or with the case of USC winning the Pac-10 Championships, “March Sadness.” And oh yeah, it’s finals week.
It’s hard to be focused on these petty exams when there’s so much else to be concerned with, like the high probability that the ghost of Caesar will come back to haunt you while you’re in the midst of an espresso-and sleep-deprivation-fueled hallucination. It doesn’t help to know that as you read this, people across the globe are honoring the patron saint of Guinness, whisky, shamrocks and potatoes ““ St. Patrick ““ by having awesome parades and drinking themselves into a leprechaunic haze. Personally, I’m distractedly nostalgic for the state high school Latin convention that always falls around the Ides. We put the “OG” in “toga party” back in the early 2000s.
These things, in addition to the college basketball jamboree coming up, are going to make this week of final papers, exams and embarrassing 2 a.m. exchanges with the Socko’s delivery guy difficult to get through (not like I know anything about that last item).
But in the words of should-be poet laureate Gloria Gaynor, “I will survive,” and so will you. There are many ways to ride out this week smoother than Josh Shipp’s jump shot. And I’m not talking about scarfing Adderall and lasering through 400 pages of reading before dawn. That’s an Alex Rodriguez move if I ever heard of one, especially considering the goal of this week is to not just make it through alive, but to do so with honor that would make your nonexistent ancient Roman ancestors proud.
I motivate myself by thinking about all the instances in pop culture that glorify academia by making studying hard a noble activity, and more importantly, sexy. “Legally Blonde” celebrates the life of law student Elle Woods, ruthlessly portrayed by Reese Witherspoon. This movie, nay, emblem of cinematic greatness, makes going to law school look like a glorious blast because of all the smoking-hot law student extras.
The film’s message that even a ditzy, Chihuahua-heart-ing spoiled girl can succeed with a little hard work and determination, makes it the most inspiring movie since “Air Bud,” so keep that in mind when your motivation is starting to lag.
Other movies that convey the message that academia is sexy are “Good Will Hunting” and “A Beautiful Mind” ““ the latter is especially relatable for students, because after 13 hours in Powell with only a hot dog and four cups of coffee in your system, you may also start to see things.
Another way to get through this week is to take a few mini breaks and look around at the beauty of our campus. I don’t want this to sound like a corny commercial for UCLA or anything, but the gorgeousness alone of the buildings, the trees, the hills and the un-rabid squirrels is enough to inspire one to pledge devotion to academia 4 life, or at least until that final paper is turned in. Powell Library definitely falls into this category of atmospheric inspiration because of its high, beautiful ceilings, cozy couches and the rustling of ancient 2-year-old biochemistry texts.
There’s something egalitarian about finals week that I think everyone can appreciate. “We’re all in this together,” as the song from “High School Musical” goes, and I couldn’t have put it better myself. With the exception of certain people who head to Club Powell with the intent of snagging a date or husband, most x-core studiers can schlep it out in nasty, comfy clothes without feeling like a hobo. Even if you do end up feeling kind of gross and hobo-y, everyone else feels and looks that way, too ““ it’s kind of like what living in an Eastern Bloc communist state would be like. And doesn’t that make you feel good?
Despite the immediate discomfort, there’s something epic about pulling off an all-nighter that heightens this “college experience” we’re going through. I was walking back from the CLICC lab last week as the sun was coming up after conquering (read: “completing”) a paper, and saw the guiding beacon of the Helio building in the distance as Aurora extended her rosy fingers over Westwood. It was a surreal situation, and I felt a strange wave of something ““ caffeine withdrawals? Jesus? ““ sweep over me.
In Noah Baumbach’s 1995 film “Kicking and Screaming” (NOT the Will Ferrell soccer movie), the character Max has recently graduated from college and doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life. In his best line, he says, “I’m nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I’ve begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I’m reminiscing this right now.” That’s kind of how I felt as I looked at that blue flame peeking through the trees.
The final way to get through finals week is to keep in mind that spring break is just a few more days away, and soon, all of the brain cells that you’ve cultivated will finally be obliterated with just three shots of tequila and one bad decision. But that’s what college is all about, right?
If you’re sickly enjoying hitting the books and dressing like a homeless person, e-mail McReynolds at mcreynolds@media.ucla.edu.