Do you have priority enrollment? I certainly don’t.
Despite being a senior with only two classes needed to graduate, I
didn’t have my first pass until Thursday morning, after many
third-years, second-years and, gasp, first-years had already
enrolled. Keep in mind that the first-years who enrolled before me
haven’t even been here for a full quarter. Does that seem
wrong to anyone else?
The problems that force me to enroll after some second-year
twerps who squirm every time their fake ID gets scrutinized at
Madison’s, lie in the honors program and the enrollment
process itself.
Let’s start with the honors program. It is poorly
administered and its members are excessively privileged, receiving
priority enrollment and special counseling.
I know this because, days when I was often the first person to
enroll in any of my classes and when I could strut like the cock of
the walk into the honors counseling office, bypassing the lines of
“regular students.”
The first problem with the program is that incoming first-years
are given honors status, and thus, priority enrollment, before they
set foot on campus. They haven’t proven anything, gotten any
grades or even taken a class. But when winter quarter comes around
they get to choose their classes before I do. They have unearned
honors status when they get to school and, even scarier, they might
keep it for a while.
Shortly after I got to UCLA I realized I wasn’t going to
be honors material. I didn’t want to take the extra honors
sections, and it wasn’t easy to motivate myself to get the
necessary grades.
But did that keep me out of the honors program for over a year?
No way. Even though I didn’t have the necessary grades or
honors units, I kept getting priority enrollment. I repeatedly
passed through honors screening checks undeservedly along with many
others I know. We basked in the honors privileges without having to
do any of the work. Amazingly, my honors status wasn’t
removed until I went to the honors counselling office and honestly
said, “Um, I don’t think I should be in honors
anymore.”
The privileges of priority enrollment and walk-in counseling are
too much for honors students anyway. The honors distinction should
be its own reward, but most students do it for the perks. The
honors program should be revised so privileges are reduced and
administered to ensure that students in the program have actually
earned their keep with no first-years or slackers allowed.
Then there’s the evil of the enrollment process. I
can’t follow the logic, but maybe you can. Honors program
first-years and sophomores get to enroll before non-honors
upperclassmen. Those undeserving first and second year students
with a myriad of classes to fill requirements get to choose their
classes before third- and fourth-year students with only a few
classes left to choose in order to fill their requirements. What
pea-brain came up with that?
Instead, the enrollment process should be amended to reward
seniority. Creepy fifth-years should enroll first because we need
to get them out of here, then fourth-years, third-years,
second-years and lastly pubescent first-years who still think
it’s cool to hang out at Puzzles. If the honors program
insists on giving its members priority enrollment, those students
can enroll before other students of their class, but no honors
second-years should enroll before any juniors or seniors.
Besides, if second-years with honors status are so smart that
they deserve to enroll before seniors like me, they’re also
smart enough to find some good classes when they enroll after
me.