Monday night in Ackerman Grand Ballroom, there were balls flying ““ out of people’s mouths.
OK, well, nobody threw up, but the balls were flying.
The Balls for Balls meatball-eating competition pitted UCLA’s biggest eaters face-to-face, belly-to-belly, estómago-y-estómago. Teams of four faced off for a grueling four-hour match, downing hundreds of meatballs over the course of six rounds in the quest to fight testicular cancer and win a coveted Wii.
Well, not everyone there was all about winning that grand prize, but the prospect of wolfing down dozens of meatballs was enough to bring a team from UCLA’s Pi Kappa Phi fraternity, called Team Schmuckburger.
Kabir Mahal, a third-year electrical engineering student, said he, as well as the rest of Team Schmuckburger, did not put much preparation into the competition.
“I used to be fat in high school,” Mahal shrugged, “so I figure I can still eat.”
Mahal and the rest of Schmuckburger went on to bow out of the competition after the fourth round.
But my mind was as filled with questions about competitive eating as my nostrils were filled with the odor of Maggiano’s meatballs. First of all, is eating a bunch of food even hard? I’ve pounded through my fair share of plates of De Neve pizza but it’s never been much of a chore.
“Those balls are bigger than they look, man,” said Chris Quinonez, a fourth-year aerospace engineering student, after being eliminated from the competition three rounds in.
Well, he’s right. It’s tough when you have a clock ticking and another person’s spit flying in your face. And I’ve seen my fair share of Kobayashi specials on ESPN, and he works hard. Okay, next question, is it competitive?
Thomas Rodriguez, a teammate of Quinonez’s on Player Haters, briskly walked away from his table with a “no comment” to me after their third-round exit. Player Haters was totally into this competition, and they were totally excited for the Wii. But alas, their dreams were thwarted, and they were sent home Wii-less.
Okay, competitive … check.
Now the big one, is it a sport? Cue Noah LaMoyne, a third-year electrical engineering student and a member of Schmuckburger.
“It’s ridiculous as a sport, but it’s fun,” he said.
Jeff Lieu, a fourth-year linguistics student and member of Team Ronads, seemed to disagree, citing the difficulties of competitive eating. His teammate, Rona Law, a fourth-year molecular cell and developmental biology student, said it’s not about size or gender for a team that made it out of the third round.
And this competition had its fair share of drama. H5S Ball Bobblers, a team representing Hedrick 5 South, came as an underdog in the face of powerhouses Schmuckburger and Player Haters.
So, people would say eating competitions are just a mere demonstration of gluttony with no relation to the concept of sport.
And those people are totally wrong.
A sport is simply a competition, either against others or yourself, where the participants need to push their bodies to their maximum potential.
Fair enough?
Shoving pounds of meatball into your mouth? Sure, anyone can try. And anyone can try and throw a ball in a hole. Anyone can try and slide a rock down ice. Anyone can try and run down a grass field with a ball. But is just anyone good at it?
Competitive eaters put in their time. They eat strategically. They work out. They plan. And they push their bodies to a new level. Those are all elements of sports.
If you can eat 14 meatballs in less than a minute, e-mail Mashhood at fmashhood@media.ucla.edu.