I blame my newfound jitters and occasional grumpiness on the crippling addiction to caffeine I developed in my first year at UCLA.
The source of this addiction can be further blamed on the habits I’ve formed while living at school, which continue to clash with my life back at home for the summer. My first year at UCLA sucked me into the world of daily vanilla lattes and mugs of Earl Grey. Summer came along and I realized that my Bruin Café needs hadn’t disappeared when I came back last month.
Thanks to my first year of college, I have become seriously addicted to drinking caffeine, eating greasy food late at night and having friends within 10 steps of me at all times. Sadly, my home ““ while lovely ““ offers none of these amenities.
The sense of independence I have gained while living away from home has completely altered my behavior: There’s my refusal to go to sleep early, the Earl Grey tea cravings, the desire to splurge on late night curly fries and the longing for a more consistent social life. However, I realized that these continued habits can balance the joys of living at home and the desire to go back to school.
“For many students, the decision to return home for the summer raises issues about separation, identity and independence,” said Karen Levin Coburn, according to a Washington University newsletter. Coburn is the associate vice chancellor for students and dean of the freshman transition at Washington University in St. Louis.
“Freshman year may be their first glimpse of freedom. They wonder if it is possible to go home and still maintain their newfound independence,” Coburn said.
We find pride in this sense of freedom, which may make it hard to break the habits we formed at school. Though I don’t have a set curfew, my parents get concerned when I come home too late. One night, I rolled through my front doorstep around 4 a.m. after a fun night of clubbing to find my mom half asleep and saying, “You’re a little too much.”
My newfound freedom has made me forget that when I come home, I no longer open the door and find my roommates fast asleep. Instead, I find my parents ““ wide awake. Late nights were definitely not uncommon while I was living on campus. Many students said they regularly stayed up late, and some find it hard to change that habit now that they’re living at home.
“I got the least amount of sleep in my life during my first year in college,” said Marques Watson, a second-year political science student.
“Now, during the summer, I’m getting even less sleep,” Watson said. “I just don’t feel like midnight is late enough to sleep.”
We’re all so used to walking down the hall and talking to our floormates, having Late-Night De Neve satisfy our hunger, and doing whatever we want, whenever we want. For many, our high school lifestyles are a distant memory.
Anthony Gambardella, a second-year engineering student, said it’s hard to shake the habits of dorm life.
“I go down to my kitchen expecting a buffet brunch on the weekends but end up having to cook for myself,” he said. “I even wake up sometimes thinking I’m late to class.”
Could it be that we long to go back to school, the place where we can completely take advantage of our independence? The freedom of living on your own is one of the biggest perks of college life.
Although we sometimes resent the boundaries of living back with our parents, it’s nice to have the comforts of the place we’ve always called home. And for most of us, we can probably find a way to make our college-life habits work at home. We can stay up late talking to our family. We can call our best friends to drive around and have a random adventure. We can pick up on some of our old hobbies. We can actually drive to Starbucks if we’re craving caffeine.
It all comes down to maintaining that balance between life at school and life at home. Our consistent social life at school can be replaced by hanging out with old friends. Our late night munchies can be solved with a big tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream sitting in the freezer. And our habit of staying out late … well, that’s something we’ve got to work out with the parents.
Some of our college habits can certainly be carried over to our lifestyles at home, giving us a sense of comfort and familiarity with our new independence. That is why I have decided to find other sources of caffeine to fulfill my needs, even if B-Caf isn’t only a few steps away from my room anymore.
If you’re longing for dorm life, e-mail Ghoogassian at cghoogassian@media.ucla.edu.