I think that making the topic of this column “trash talking” is justified in the “Arts & Entertainment” section because trash talking is an art ““ and a fine one at that.
While trash talking is most commonly applied to the realm of sports and hip-hop, it affects aspects of popular culture much more than you might think and can be admired just as much as a beautiful painting or epic poem.
There are a lot of important events in the world of sports happening right now, so there’s a surplus of trash littered from mouths. Trash talking can stem from a wicked-smooth jump shot, a deep-to-center field moon shot or a motor-mouthed rookie hot shot. You don’t even have to have actual game to be a good trash talker ““ in fact, one’s game can be entirely made up of a poetic ability to spew some good trash.
I went to see the Dodgers play the Giants last weekend at Dodger Stadium, and I heard so much trash talk, I could’ve picked it up and taken it to the recycling plant and made millions. Forbes Magazine recently reported that, based on several statistical and historical factors, the rivalry between the Dodgers and the Giants is the strongest in baseball. Jackie Robinson, a lifelong Dodger, retired from baseball when he found out he was going to be traded to the Giants.
That being said, sitting in the left-field pavilion at Dodger Stadium wearing black and orange is not for the faint of heart; so I will opt out of trash talking them for now and commend Giants’ fans’ bravery (or a hopelessly misguided naivety) in facing the pavilion, where parents take their children to learn life lessons, like appropriate context for four-letter word usage, racial slurs and proper peanut-throwing technique.
I will say that the inspiration for this column came directly from that game this weekend, after I heard some of the most creative and ridiculous trash talk from a particularly spirited gentleman with some portrait-style tattoos of female family members emblazoned on his biceps. As a crew of Giants fans walked up the aisles of the pavilion, (rightfully) armed with anti-Manny Ramirez comebacks and homemade “Fraudgertown” T-shirts, this man ““ nay, poet ““ yelled, “Sit down, you Frisco biscuits!”
I don’t know what a Frisco biscuit is, and neither did anybody else. but it really doesn’t matter. Phonetics play a big part in trash talking, as does creativity. The imagery that “Frisco biscuit” conjurs up is Salvador Dali-esque ““ surreal, disturbing, nonsensical and brilliant. It’s not even offensive (unless I, too, am suffering from hopeless naivety), but it’s funny and renders the receivers immobile. How on earth do you retort to being called a “Frisco biscuit?
I do wish that there were a greater presence of trash talking in realms of “higher culture,” which could benefit from a little spicy mano e mano verbal combat. I want to hear Gustavo Dudamel, the future conductor of the Los Angeles Philharmonic, talk smack about current conductor Esa-Pekka Salonen. If they want to get more patrons to boring chamber music and English horn concertos, I think it would behoove them to start a searing media feud a la Jay-Z and Nas, and then agree to a rap battle in the alley of the Walt Disney Concert Hall, to be moderated by architect Frank Gehry. Just wait until Dudamel drops a “your mom is so fat” zinger and hear the crowd go wild.
Aside from conventional trash talking, using puppies in your rhetoric is an indirect but still effective way to trash-talk opponents. Mike O’Malley, best known as the former host of Nickelodeon’s tour-de-force T.V. show “Global GUTS,” is in a commercial for Time Warner Cable that trash-talks DirecTV by saying they don’t care about puppies. He may sound like a pansy, but this tactic is reminiscent of Kanye West’s “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” comment ““ that is to say, shocking.
As lighthearted and spirited trash talking can be when you’re joshing around with your friends, you’ve still got to be careful about where you take it. As with any art form that requires pouring in your heart and soul, it can lead to unplanned death. I mean, look what happened to Biggie and Tupac ““ the harder they trash-talk, the harder they fall.
A Pennsylvania man was shot and killed after his beer pong-fueled trash talk got some other dude super angry, and while this case is an anomaly (I’m hoping), remember to take it easy. Especially when a beer pong title is on the line, because we know how heated that tends to get.
Edward Bulwer-Lytton famously wrote, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” But when that sword turns into an airborne Dodger Dog paired with a phonetically hilarious and nonsensical cultural slur, I would say that the sword could be mightier, and definitely more fun.
If you want those Frisco biscuits to sit down, e-mail McReynolds at dmcreynolds@media.ucla.edu.