The sport requires mental acuity, physical toughness and
high-heeled shoes.
Like most other athletic events, it has a specific set of rules,
and a unique post-workout training regimen: brunch.
The sport is surely a beneficiary of Title IX, as it features
mostly female competitors, and boasts only a small faction of male
participants ““ keeping UCLA athletics balanced as far as
gender equality.
“The only thing better than watching a girl do The Walk of
Shame is being the guy that wouldn’t give her a ride
home.”
That statement was uttered by an anonymous member of a
fraternity in reference to the aforementioned athletic event.
That’s right, The Walk of Shame is a sport.
Before any fraternity or sorority member (or any female) throws
his or her hands up in anger, upset over the implied stereotypes
that this column propagates, let me say this ““ I will not
rely on stereotypes to incite laughter.
For those in the dark, The Walk of Shame is an athletic event
performed by females in Westwood ““ predominantly on
Fraternity Row ““ and can be witnessed almost daily during the
morning hours on the sidewalks of Gayley.
The walk begins at the residence in which the athlete has spent
the night, and often culminates in the UCLA dormitory area.
Competition commences when the female desires to leave the
residence briskly and covertly to avoid spectators making any
inferences about her activities the previous night, or when her
male acquaintance is unwilling to provide driving services. Thus
the “shame” has different meanings, depending on
perspective.
This sport utilizes a very unique uniform ““ a borrowed,
oversized sweatshirt, which is often accompanied by borrowed pajama
bottoms. Additionally, participants carry strappy high-heeled shoes
or black knee-high boots in hand, actually making it The Barefoot
Walk of Shame.
Athletes may also carry a small purse or clutch, but regulations
stipulate it must be small enough to only hold a single
compact.
This sport is not solely practiced at UCLA, as it has quite a
following in Isla Vista, Calif.
Not all UCLA fraternities take part in The Walk of Shame League.
For example, the Triangle Fraternity, which limits its membership
to students majoring in engineering, architecture and the sciences,
has yet to participate in the sport.
“I don’t have anything to say about The Walk of
Shame because I don’t think it happens here,” Triangle
treasurer/historian Scott Webb said.
This sport can and should be a spectator sport, so if you can
brave the tough, early morning weather conditions these athletes
face, head over to Gayley at around 9 a.m. on a Friday (or,
according to the sport’s unofficial rulebook, the morning
after a Thursday-night party).
You know the people that line the road at marathons, handing out
cups of water to the runners?
I’m guessing The Walk of Shame athletes wouldn’t
mind some Evian during competition, either.
The Walk of Shame has become such an exciting part of UCLA
athletics, that it was even parodied by the Spring Sing Company
during last year’s talent show.
As male and female company members stumbled around the stage in
pretend hangover-induced stupors, two female company members sung a
song to the tune of Jewel’s “Who Will Save Your
Soul.” The ditty featured these priceless lyrics: “(My
friend) started laughing she said, “˜What’s his
name?’ I don’t know it could have been James, maybe
Alex, maybe Brad, oh my god, my breath smells so bad.”
Then there’s the male version of The Walk of Shame.
Wait, men have no shame.