If you’re like me, you get about 100 e-mails a day, 97 of
which are completely useless spam.
Whether it’s Worm Klez.E virus immunity or the classic,
“This is a special new game. This game is my first work.
You’re the first player. I wish you would enjoy it,” or
even some porn site offering something involving Britney Spears and
barnyard animals, we’ve all gotten pretty adept at skimming
over e-mails with an itchy delete button finger.
A week ago, I got one with the rather nondescript subject line
of “Student Sports Package Holders,” and almost
automatically sent it to the place where e-mails go to die.
After all, I figured, I’m graduating in June and will be
on the other side of the country next year, so the only possible
explanation my paranoid Oliver Stone self could give for the e-mail
was the athletic department raising ticket prices in order to fund
one of the 534 or so coaches’ contracts it needs to buy out
this year.
(168 words later, getting to the point of the column
“¦)
It turns out the athletic department has formed a new student
group: the UCLA Sports Marketing Association. According to the
e-mail, “the group will meet monthly to brainstorm ideas and
discuss concerns about UCLA athletics from a student’s
perspective.”
It seemed like a good enough idea. But what really piqued my
interest came at the end, where it said the new group ““ SMA
for short ““ was interested in forming student support groups
for basketball and football.
If you’ve ever subjected yourself to Dick Vitale’s
mindless bellowing, you know all about Duke’s “Cameron
Crazies” and Stanford’s “Sixth Man” student
organizations that seek to give both an identity and a voice to
student sections.
In the case of the Sixth Man (and also Cal’s
“Bench” and Oregon’s “Pit Crew”),
students get a T-shirt at the beginning of the year along with
their season tickets. In order to sit in the prime seats, you must
wear the shirt. The students who run these groups also provide fans
with chant sheets, etc. etc. etc. you’ve heard all this
before.
Needless to say, the conformity in game day attire looks great
on television and provides a sense of camaraderie, not to mention a
hellish environment for opposing teams.
In other words, everything Pauley Pavilion has lacked in the
past few years.
So how did they do it? Actually, the answer is rather
simple:
MANIPULATION IS THE KEY.
Sorry, my bad. That was part of USAC President David
Dahle’s grand strategy for UCLA political domination (if
you’re confused, read the front page of Wednesday’s
Bruin for a good laugh).
The key, as always, lies in knowing the right people.
This is not the first time that a student support group has been
brought up in the Daily Bruin, and it’s also not the first
time students have gotten together to try and start one.
But finally, with the emergence of SMA, it appears as though the
Morgan Center has become a little more personal and little less
like an Orwellian Ministry of Sport.
The reason why this might just succeed (over 50 students
attended the group’s first meeting Tuesday night) is because
it has the athletic department’s ear.
Dan Guerrero helped to establish the CIA (Completely Insane
Anteaters) when he was at UC Irvine, and appears to have given
Assistant Marketing Director Cassidy Moore ““ a charismatic
Arizona grad who led a similar group there ““ great latitude
in making the student voice heard.
UCLA students will have the entire side of floor seats at Pauley
starting next season, and what better way would there be to welcome
new head coach Ben Howland than with shirts that say something like
“Ben’s Den?”
A small amount of effort can really go a long way. Moore said
season ticket holders will automatically get T-shirts with their
tickets next year. Making the shirts mandatory uniforms for those
sitting in the lower level at Pauley would be an important first
step in giving UCLA a student section identity ““ and a
homecourt advantage ““ again.
Agase’s ego took a serious hit when he wasn’t on
Dahle’s list of “friends” and
“enemies.” E-mail him at jagase@media.ucla.edu with
your ideas for the support group’s name.