“˜Top Chef’ judge belongs on the butcher block

Ask anyone in my family and close circle of friends and they could go on for days about my love of Entertainment Weekly, karaoke and, above all, Bravo.

So as a die-hard fan of “Top Chef,” I had no idea whether to be excited or terrified about the addition of the new judge: English food critic Toby Young. After two weeks of horrible, nonsensical analogies, pompous facial expressions and having my favorite “chef-testant” sent home (stay strong, Ariane), all I want is for Young to pack his knives and go back across the pond.

On reality contest shows such as “Top Chef,” “America’s Next Top Model” and “American Idol,” the focus is always on the fresh contestants and the usual who-doesn’t-get-along-with-who, who-needs-a-therapist-ASAP and so on. But on these competition-centered shows, the drama revolves not around those on the cutting block, but those who put them there: the judges.

I mean, where would “American Idol” be without the snarky Simon Cowell shaking things up and angering fans? On “Project Runway,” some of season-two Santino’s best confrontations and quotes came when his clothes were ripped apart by judges Nina Garcia and Michael Kors. One of my least favorite shows of the genre, “America’s Next Top Model,” would be even more boring without the animated J. Alexander.

On top of their unique personalities, it’s all up to the judges which contestants are in and which “are out.” (I couldn’t help myself, sorry.) The judges determine the entire structure and entertainment value of the show.

This is exactly why “Top Chef’s” addition of Young has me ticked off. Besides talking over host Padma Lakshmi and top judge Tom Colicchio, and being extremely harsh about the dishes in competition, Young threw the entire season out the window and eliminated one of the top chefs: my fellow Jersey girl, Ariane.

Whether Young wanted to affirm his place as the outlandish judge who wants to shake things up by sending home consistent winners, or he wants ratings to go up as he attempts to make a transition from author (“How to Lose Friends and Alienate People”) to TV personality, “Top Chef” isn’t the same competition now that one of its stronger contestants is out the door, and Young better cut back on those out-of-left-field analogies before I’m forced to switch the channel.

If you want to sign the “Bring Ariane back” petition, then e-mail Stanhope at kstanhope@media.ucla.edu.

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