Friday, January 10, 1997
EDUCATION:
Fickle youth cannot be force-fed works of The BardBy Elizabeth
Schuett
Cox News Service
GIBSONBURG, Ohio — "Shakespeare? Oh, yeah. He’s the
funny-looking dude who wrote a bunch of weird stories in a foreign
language." So says one of my more voluble freshmen, whose ignorance
of a topic (any topic) seldom puts his mouth on hold.
It’s that time again. Time to pull out the overheads of the
Globe Theatre and introduce The Bard to a bunch of teenagers who
think "Hamlet" is what they had for breakfast last Sunday. I’ve
learned it’s important not to confuse them with the facts so I
leave things like names and dates until later. After I’ve grabbed
their attention.
"What do you like in a story?" is always my first question.
Invariably the girls opt for romance and the boys go for intrigue
and bloodshed. They’re shocked when I tell them Shakespeare’s
writings are loaded with all that stuff. They didn’t think any of
that existed in those days.
Invariably, some wise guy will ask: "So why didn’t he write in
English?"
After a good long stare-down I pick up the text and read: "But
soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and
Juliet is the sun!"
"This is Portuguese?" I ask. "Did anyone understand any of the
words?" I wait.
Sally hesitates and then raises her hand. "They’re all English
words but they’re put together funny to make it hard for us to
understand them. Did he do that on purpose?"
"Yeah," Bobby says, "because he wanted to make it tough for
kids."
Ahh, I think to myself, the egocentricity of youth. "William
Shakespeare did not write anything with you in mind," I point out.
"He wrote to make money. And that’s what he did." They’re shocked.
"When he wrote those words he had no idea that 400 years later kids
would be reading them in an English class in northwest Ohio."
"So why are we?" Bobby asks before he pronounces: "Shakespeare
is really dumb!"
"Dumb" is the automatic classification for anything teens don’t
understand. When I remind them it means "unable to speak" they
replace the modifier with "stupid," another teen favorite. That’s
when I point out that neither books nor any other inanimate object
can be classified "stupid." Only live things, like people, may
behave in such a fashion.
"Shakespeare wrote in the language of his day. The words he used
were easily understood by his audiences." Then I ask: "Have you
written anything lately that will hold up for 400 years?" Blank
faces. Everybody’s out to lunch.
"Shakespeare wrote R-rated plays and common people as well as
royalty flocked to them. He was a hit!"
R-rated? That’s got their attention. With an absolutely straight
face Bobby asks if they knew about sex in those days. I’m not
shocked. It’s the same question I get every year.
"Yes, Bobby, they did. And once you get the lingo down, you’ll
be able to understand all of the dirty jokes." He looks inspired
and then asks how you do that. "By reading, listening, paying
attention and thinking. When you get good at it I’ll give you my
Riverside (college Shakespeare) to read. It’s unabridged. Nothing
has been changed to protect the innocent."
"So what does that mean  what you said?"
"But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?" I repeat as
I write it on the board. "Romeo has met Juliet at a dance and
fallen for her. Now, that same night he’s hanging around in the
orchard under her bedroom window hoping …"
"He’s a peeping Tom!" Bobby snickers.
"… hoping to have a word with her. He says to himself, ‘Wait a
minute (be still), what’s that light?’ Then he realizes it’s Juliet
and says, ‘It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!’ What does that
mean to you?"
Bobby suggests Romeo’s been drinking. Sally says he’s comparing
Juliet with the sun because falling in love with her has brightened
his life. I tell them they’re probably both right.
Two days later I get the word. Bobby’s mom is coming for a
conference. She wants to discuss the R-rated play I’m teaching.