Guest etiquette creates conflict
Roommates must deal with communication and privacy issues in
crowded conditions
By Kimberly Mackesy
Angela Kim never had houseguests overstay their welcome in her
home, but she has seen the grave and sometimes unusual effects the
problem can have on students’ lives.
In the college environment, living away from childhood homes,
many students find comfort in having visitors. But when a one-room
apartment begins to resemble a youth hostel, hostility between
roommates can fester.
Kim, a sophomore communication studies student, remembers a
friend who used to live in a triple dorm room with a roommate whose
girlfriend occasionally spent the night. When he asked his
roommates if she could sleep there for a week, and they refused,
the two lovebirds ended up sleeping in the lounge for a week, Kim
said.
While this may sound farfetched, dealing with roommates’
houseguests can definitely turn into a problem, students said.
While some students may have a "my house is your house" attitude,
privacy may be a high priority for others.
And when conflict rears its ugly head, the consequences for
roommates can be disastrous.
"I had a friend last year who had an agreement with her roommate
at the beginning of the year," Kim said. Following the agreement,
her boyfriend was allowed to spend the night once a week. Things
soon got out of hand, however, and a resident assistant was brought
in to help resolve the problem.
"By the middle of the year, things were so bad between them that
(the roommate with the boyfriend) moved out," Kim said.
Students said that the manner of dealing with perpetual
houseguests is a delicate issue.
"I’d just ask my roommate to let them know, in a nice way, that
they’ve overstayed," said Armena McNair, a third-year student
majoring in Spanish and Portuguese. McNair added that the issue
would have to be handled with discretion, but that something should
be said. "If (the houseguest) wanted to stay longer, they should
talk about it instead of just doing it."
Senior psychobiology student Anna Wartirosyan has another way of
dealing with her family’s house guests  keep quiet and wait
it out.
"(My family and I) just had to tolerate them for 10 more days,"
Wartirosyan said.