What does the ‘X’ in Generation X stand for?
By Clint Stalker
I think I belong to the generation they call X. Sometimes they
call us the twentysomethings, but I don’t think that it’s really an
age thing. I don’t know how, then, we are classified as such, what
brought us together, what it means to be of this generation.
But I think about it when they bag on our generation and when my
friends that are twentysomething disclaim themselves from it. Like
the way these same twentysomethings set themselves apart from us
who felt like shit when Kurt Cobain decided to die last year.
The term exists whether you like it or not. And I think the
generation exists, too. I can feel it. They made OK Cola for Gen X
types, I don’t know what they were thinking with that. And they’ve
published a bunch of literature trying to pin us down, trying to
define something they don’t know dick about.
Who’s "they"? They are a bunch of mouths and hands and they buzz
a hissing din that diffuses over the heads of Americans. The din
lands on our cars, on us, on the carpet and settles down. You can’t
really feel it. You don’t know exactly where all this talk comes
from, but everybody hears something and it was said by "them."
I’m not the expert, though. I’m dissing on them, those who try
to say this and that about Generation X, and at the same time I’m
trying to say something about it. I know it seems a tad
hypocritical. I’m saying, "You just don’t understand" to them, but
I don’t have an answer.
I don’t know why we sit around at coffee shops and smoke and
philosophize about life, relationships and music. I don’t know why
we want to wear second-hand clothes when we have the money to buy
new clothes. (I don’t think you’re a poseur, though, if you do
that). I don’t know.
Come to think of it, that is a criticism I have often heard
about us, that we sit around and complain, wonder and despair at
the state of the world we live in but we don’t do anything about
it, we don’t provide any answers.
To be quite honest, I haven’t really done any research on the
topic more than just what I see, read and hear. I thought about it,
that maybe I shouldn’t address something I’m not totally informed
about. But then I thought that if I think that I am it, then I can
write about it. So I came to the decision that I would write from
what I know, what I feel now, and then research this and perhaps
write about it again.
First of all, I know that I should sort out what I am feeling
and what the generation I am a part of is feeling. You may feel
that you are Gen X but you don’t agree with me. In that case, what
am I supposed to say, are we all supposed to be exactly alike?
We’re lost, just as lost as post-WWI’s Lost Generation, but
without the aftermath of war to blame for our troubles. If you ask
me why, then, here’s my explanation. I feel unsettled the way you
do when you’ve got a lot of marbles in your hands and you’re doing
your best to hold on to all of them, but there’s just too much and
you keep dropping a couple.
There’s just too much. There’s war in the world, there’s hunger
even though there’s enough food for everyone; there’s that big hole
in the ozone layer, there’s the rainforest problem, there’s our
deteriorating environment, there’s AIDS, there’s a pimple on my
forehead. The world and all of its calamity, disaster, chaos and
human strife depressed Lisa, this chick I knew in high school, to
the point where she would cry. I never felt the weight of the world
on my shoulders like she did.
But when I watch the news and I think of all the people who’ve
died from drugs, gang violence and all that kind of stuff, I wonder
to myself, has it always been this bad? There have always been
drugs, and homicide isn’t a 21st Century term like "Internet." If
you want to make anything sound really cutting-edge just tack on
"virtual" or "cyber" to the word. By the time this column is out
though, I assure you it’ll be old. Things get old as they are
thought up, as we speak the terms. How are you supposed to keep
track of everything? There’s not enough time for you to grasp the
situation and then you’re on to the next.
Maybe we lack proper role models. Our parents all got divorced
so I guess we don’t know what a strong marriage is supposed to be
like, and anyone we make out to be a hero eventually screws up
because to err is human. Society has placed all kinds of worthless
types on pedestals. I don’t believe in having heroes, either. There
are individuals who had the strength or the indifference, to say
and do whatever they wanted. They are the closest thing to idols I
have.
I identify with the hoarse words of a suicide blonde and the
husky lyrics of a songstress who can’t seem to sing a song without
the word ‘fuck,’ but they’re not really my role models. I used to
be into James Dean, but you can only rebel without a cause for so
long before you’ve spent up your teen angst years.
X. What the fuck kind of name is that for a generation anyway? X
is a variable, it’s an unknown. It’s the label you tag onto
something for wont of an appellation. It’s nothing and anything. I
don’t want to be nothing and anything. I want to be something but I
don’t know what. There’s not one thing that I want to be.
I’ve run all over the place to find myself. I’ve pieced together
a patchwork-quilt identity with all sorts of colors and textures
and it doesn’t really fit in anywhere, but parts of it match here
and other parts match there.
I don’t think I’m making sense. I feel that you, who are still
reading, probably don’t understand what the hell I’m trying to say.
I’m trying to get it across to you, to communicate, but then again,
is there really such thing as true communication? Can anyone else
really hear you? Can anyone other than yourself ever see your
personal vision? And I’ve probably contradicted myself several
times over. Oh well, whatever, nevermind … I tried.
Stalker is a senior majoring in political science.