Friends and family gathered at the Sunset Canyon Recreation Center picnic area Sunday to celebrate the life and spirit of Sam Burton Oliver, a fourth-year economics student who died from an apparent suicide Dec. 12 in his Westwood apartment.
The memorial service started with a short speech by Brian Pritchard, who was Oliver’s mentor and boss at the UCLA Outdoor Adventures program. According to a list found in Oliver’s notes, Pritchard was one of the most influential people in Oliver’s life.
Pritchard said the service took place outdoors because nature and the open air were where Oliver spent most of his time, meditating and reflecting on life.
“The outdoors was Sam’s church, where laughter, holding hands, tears and applause are all allowed and welcomed,” he said.
Sam Oliver’s mother, Elisa Oliver, shared stories about her son as a child.
She said that when he was younger, Oliver would come home with holes in his pants from playing too roughly outside, an indication of his adventurous nature. She said she wanted to sew patches over the holes, but he asked her to not do it because then his “legs can’t see.”
She said his quirky personality was what made him special and stand out from others.
Elisa Oliver also talked about her son’s depression. When Oliver was 12, he was diagnosed with chronic anxiety, which gave way to depression, she said.
She said she felt proud her son showed empathy for others with anxiety and depression like him. He was able to shower others with laughter and love even when he was battling depression, she said.
Oliver’s parents encouraged those with anxiety or depression at the memorial service to talk about it with others. They also encouraged everyone to be more understanding about depression in an effort to combat the stigma surrounding mental illnesses.
Erin Chisholm, Oliver’s best friend since high school, talked about the advice and personal notes Oliver had given her over the years.
She said Oliver encouraged her to challenge her beliefs because he thought being willing to change one’s mindset showed strength. He also told her to never pay for water, build a good credit score early on and not let the thought of what might have happened ruin happiness.
Above all, she said, Oliver always urged everyone to seize the day.
“Killing time is a mortal sin,” he once told Chisholm.
Justin Brandt, a fourth-year environmental science student and Oliver’s roommate, said he thinks the greatest gift Oliver gave was making others’ lives richer by inspiring his friends and supporting their decisions. Brandt said people are complex, and Oliver showed happiness while still living with depression.
“When I was around Sam, I always felt great about myself,” Brandt said.
Isabelle Mieling, a fourth-year bioengineering student, said she met Oliver on the first day of college, and they became friends instantly. She said they had a lot in common, like the coincidence that they both had their wisdom teeth taken out when they first met. As a joke between them, he would call her “chubby face,” she said.
The spontaneity Oliver carried with him was a quality she especially admired, as well as the way he placed other people’s happiness above his own, she said.
“He was in pain, but he was always trying to make others feel better,” Mieling said.
Greg Senning, a fourth-year biology student and Oliver’s other roommate, said he became friends with Oliver after noticing his “suave” look and hairdo.
He said he cherished most of the memories of the mornings he shared with Oliver. On many days, he said he would wake up to find Oliver singing Bob Marley and making pancakes.
“I will never forget those beautiful mornings,” Senning said.
At the memorial service, Oliver’s parents said they want others to carry on their son’s tradition of keeping extra socks in his backpack to give to the homeless or people who need them. As part of remembering their son, individuals can post pictures of their new socks with the hashtag #SocksForSam online on Facebook or Instagram.